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Hello. i know that this probably was asked here before, and i searched on the forum, but here it goes:
What is the best way to achieve a ruined orgasm, and how do you do it?
I experimented a bit.....and i know some about it. Basically getting slowly on the edge, riding the edge, slowing down, edging more, letting it cool down a bit and edge it more...and when you decide you get on the edge and slowly ride it bit by bit until you go 1-2 strokes over the point of no return and hands off and no stimulation (correct me if i am wrong). But are there any more things to do? And i also read somewhere about controlling your muscles....and i really didn't understand that too much...if someone can explain it.

Thank you.

I prefer stroking fast as though I am aiming to cum and just stop before I do. The odd time I won't get a ruined orgasm, just a hard edge - but then I just go for it one more time.

I don't actually see any bad sides of it though. It's feels pretty much like normal orgasm to me, but has a plus of staying hard afterwards.

I think, as with many other things in life, the ways of achieving ruined orgasms and the way they may feel to you are very individual and ´may vary depending on mood and constitution.
In fact, one coud even speak of a ruined orgasm as any orgasm, that you do not do the most to enjoy it - this may be because you stop stroking, or you stroke in an odd way, or maybe even stroke fast like hell, but the feeling is not good anyways.
For, me, a full orgasm depends on my mood and horniness and if I decide to ruin it, it takes an effort to do something (or not to do something) which lessens the full orgasm feeling.
The muscle based part you mentioned is connected to the pc musle contractions, I would guess. Mot guys seem to "ruin" their orgasm ba trying NOT to let that muscle spasm, while actuall cumming in the sense, that the cum flows out of the cock, but is not expelled by the pc muscle contracting, which seems to heighten the pleasure of cumming (contracting the muscle, that is).
I for example have experienced ruined orgasm by actually contracting and HOLDING that contraction while the feeling of cumming washes over me. If I manage to hold this long enough, the feeling subsides, NO cum comes out and I feel very unsatisfied, just as much as letting the cum flow out without contracting. This holding method is pretty good if you go too far edging and you know there is no way, that you can stopn yourself contracting anyway.
So, keep trying and practicing... it took me years to get there

The main problem with ruined orgasms is that they really lack a solid, common definition. People have vastly different ideas about what a ruined orgasm even IS, and rightfully so since there is no single correct answer to that.

Some examples of what people define a ruined orgasm by:
- Not being stimulated while you ejaculate
- Not ejaculating a full load
- Not spurting, but merely oozing cum
- The orgasm not feeling good, or even feeling outright painful
- Having the ejaculation physically blocked
- Being stroked after a full orgasm as a means of torture - pot. (yes, many seems to think even this is a form of ruined orgasm)

Or obviously a combination of any number of those points.

For me, the core idea of a ruined orgasm is that is should be less satisfactory and pleasant than a regular one. That typically means at least stopping the stimulation a little short of the finish line. Apart from that, a ruined orgasm can be pretty much anything.

Thank you for all the insight about it. The problem is that the muscle contracts involuntarly...so i guess i get a half ruined one or such...but even so...my body shakes when i take my hands off...and i really want to put my hands as i am cumming. The best way i believe is with a lot of edging and going really slow on the edge with slow strokes.

What assfan described in the later part of his post by contracting his pc-muscle is actually a dry orgasm..part of being multiorgasmic as a male...meaning you have a very strong pc muscle. that is actually good.

You said you experimented, so how did it go?

Kegels have already been mentioned. That's a big one.

Try to be as relaxed as possible. Try not to think of the upcoming orgasm as enjoyable or overly exciting, just something that's gonna happen. Try lots of deep breathing techniques.

When you finally decide to go over the edge don't do it with a normal tip to base thrust or stroke. Try stimulating the base of the penis to just barely go over, not the glans. The more you touch the glans the more explosive it'll be.

Try to distract yourself, or have your partner do so, perhaps with testicle massage for example. Some men find that annoying or off putting, others love it, so pick one that doesn't enhance the pleasure. You can also do something with pain, like ball smacking, although that might make it hard to relax.