I had a great time playing with this and have many comments to offer. Please know I think this is great work and please take these comments as constructive suggestions without any negativity. I really did enjoy this
And now for my notes
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- I really hope you will be getting the actual 20th Century Fox recording instead of the recorder in the foreground which seems very cheesy and lacking the professionalism of the rest of the project
- "Multiple Cumshots Challenge" should actually be "Multiple Cumshot Challenge" since the word "multiple" already sets the "cumshot" as a plural noun.
Rules screen text
-not everyone has a foreskin but that is just a choice regarding your text and how you would like to introduce the video, so I will chalk that up to artistic freedom for you :)
-"ecstasy" is the dictionary spelling instead of "extasy"
- "Every time you ejaculate, take a 15 minute break then resume at the beginning of the last round you completed, until you make it to the end."
- "5 points per cumshot"
Performance screen text
-should be "Stroke to the end to win the following performance-based titles:"
Warm-up screen text
-"Play with yourself until you are about to ejaculate"
-"Ride the edge as long as you can... then you will be ready for the first round."
I think the video frame may have unnecessarily wide top and bottom borders.
I love the way you did transitions in the warmup round!
Warmup summary comment
- some people prefer the word "cum" over "ejaculate" in this type of video since "ejaculate" sounds more clinical. This is just an opinion you may wish to consider.
Round 1
- The music selection seems interesting but may not be as widely accepted/appreciated just due to the genre. I personally think it is an interesting choice and seems to lend itself well to the beat patterns presented but the audience that appreciates this type of music may be smaller than you had in mind.
- at 05:25, the beat pattern text shows "1-0" You may wish to say something else such as "Fast" since 1-0 does not seem to capture what is happening.
- at 06:12 the 2-6 beat sound is relatively quiet and therefore more difficult to hear compared to the music and sound effects that are playing. Also you may wish to present it as "2 (x6)" since "2-6" suggests a "2 then 6" repeating pattern.
- at 06:20, the beat pattern of 3-6-3 again suggests "3 then 6 then 3" however it is really "3-6 (x3)"
- at 06:38, the beat pattern 7-1 may be better represented as "7-7"
- at 07:24, again the "1-0" may be better described as "1-1" or "Fast".
- at 07:35, the 2-7-1-0 pattern may be a bit much for someone to track while our "little brain" is doing the thinking lol =P but has a great rhythm to it. I also suggest the pattern be described as "2-7-1".
- wow that max speed gives the arm a real workout!
Round 2 text
- "take a 15 minute break" instead of "take a 15 minutes break"
- at 08:56, the beat pattern may be better represented as "Fast"
- at 09:40, again the beat pattern may be better represented as "Fast" instead of 1-0.
- at 11:08 through 11:22, even though we just finished up a gruelling "max" segment, it seems like a long time for no beats in a cum video. The screen action is very nice so maybe even slow beats there to give our arms a bit of a break and maybe lube up a bit more after burning it off in that max section lol. This is just a thought to consider.
- I noticed labelling of the beat patterns is not always occurring. For example the section starting at 11:22 seems like it should be labelled as "slow". There were one or two others earlier but I will have to go back to verify where they were.
- at 12:07, perhaps "Fast" instead of "1-0"
- I like that we can hear the ladies in some of these scenes :). That can really add a great deal to the overall experience in my opinion.
- at 12:37, the 2-5-1-0 should be seen as "2-7-1" since it is actually 2-7-1 that is happening instead of 2-5-1
- at 14:03, again the 2-5-1-0 should be seen as "2-7-1" since it is actually 2-7-1 that is happening instead of 2-5-1
- at 14:23, the 1-0 could be represented as "Fast"
- the ladies are very hot and have some steamy action going on, although I am not personally into the spit-swapping scene but this is just personal preference.
Final Round text
- should read "If you have ejaculted: take a 15 minute break then start back at the beginning of round 2 until you can reach this point while stroking without cumming!"
- at 15:19, it sounds like the beats have already started but the beat indicator does not start until 15:20. This may not seem like much but there are a few beats there to help push us to cum faster
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- it is a good strong beat pattern at the beginning of the round. I wonder if it would work better to do a slight video speed-up of the scenes with the sex-swing so the bouncing falls in time with the beat pattern. I would not suggest slowing down the beats to match but when they are in sync, it really helps pull you into the moment with them
- at 16:11, the pattern may be better described as 3-3
- at 16:29, the 1-0 could be represented as "Fast"
- at 17:49, the 1-0 could be represented as "Fast"
- at 18:20, the 3-1 could be represented as "3-3"
- at 18:44, the 1-0 could be represented as "Fast"
- at 19:47, the 1-0 could be represented as "Fast"
- at 21:05, the 1-0 could be represented as "Fast"
Good Job text
- at 21:21, instead of "FREE PACE" you may wish to label it as "Freestyle". Both really mean the same thing in this context so it is more a preference of standards than anything that impacts the actual game-play.
- it would be great to still have some background music during this part while still being able to hear the sounds the ladies are making
. The action is very hot so a bit of mood music could really enhance the scene, even just a light piano or classical guitar in the background.
- at 22:19, it should read "Now let's go see the score...". Please note the apostrophe.
Performance text
- "Add 5 points for each cumshot"
Credits
- you may wish to include the dancing and credits as part of the trying to cum again round, then place the performance text screen at the very end. This would work especially for those who may just need a couple extra minutes to tear off that last cumshot
. I am not sure what those girls at 25:33 were "dancing" (or prancing) to but they still look cute doing it
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- at 24:43, the text "Can't wait for your next loads Baby" may better read as "Can't wait for your next load Baby".
- I know "Spermsurection" is a mashup word, but I think it would be closer to a proper spelling with "Spermsurrection" since "insurrection" has that second "R" in it.
General Comments
Most of my comments are regarding the same thing, the notation of the beat pattern. This is just a conformity really to help describe the beats in such a way that has been traditionally used for Cock Hero and Cum Hero videos. That small change, which I admit I repeated often in my comments in the hope it makes it easier for you to find, would make a big difference for me to keep my mind on the action instead of trying to figure out why the beat was described the way it is right now
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Overall opinion
WOW!!!! This is a great piece of work. Gorgeous women, hot action, well crafted transitions, etc.... You do have the touch when it comes to making these videos!
With just a few minor tweaks, it will be an amazing addition to the Cum Hero series!
