Milovana.com

Mr-Elusive wrote:

Triple Alfa wrote: In the third to last frame you missed a comma in the second sentence.

Tell you what, when you've published a single tease, I'll accept that as constructive. As for the rest of your comments, I shall take them into consideration. ;)

Sorry, I was actually working on one at that time so I was still in nit-pick-mode.

Triple Alfa wrote:

Mr-Elusive wrote:

Triple Alfa wrote: In the third to last frame you missed a comma in the second sentence.

Tell you what, when you've published a single tease, I'll accept that as constructive. As for the rest of your comments, I shall take them into consideration. ;)

Sorry, I was actually working on one at that time so I was still in nit-pick-mode.

where is it then???

It's still a work in progress. Was toying with the flash editor, working out how to do some more advanced coding stuff. I have tried simpler things before, but I was never happy with the mediocre results. So I'm trying something different, new. It's not coming easy though.(no pun intended )

Well... she did look a tad too young - made it harder to enjoy reading. I guess that's just me.

But the tease was fantastic. Really, really liked it. Well written, good tasks, good ending!, very good all round.

Thanks Bindo.

I might do another, but I'll probably continue that series and use the same model.

Please do! I look forward to it!

Have you been working on a sequel?

Yeah I am. I've got the images and quite a few pages written. Just trying to make it a little longer. I redid the first one and while I still really like it I found it to be a bit short.

The sequel was excellent, I thought. Very well-written dialogue and characteriation as well as everything else. Nice work! I sincerely hope there are more in this series.

Thanks for the feedback. I've got some ideas for part 3, but I don't really know where I want to go with the series. If you've got any suggestions, I'll see if I can incorporate them.

Hi,

First of all, I do not think she looks too young, there are many girls at around 20 are still looking really young. But maybe I see it that way because I'm only twenty middle also. so much about it;)

I think the tease very well, since you asked for opinions I would say my list of pros and cons

I liked the tied off thing with the shoelace.
So i'am really a fan of edging and holding it.

I also liked that she probably is a little bit of sadist. (precum, slap, shoelace.. ;)

so i dont like the slap on the belly thing. Then I would find a light slap on the tied off balls better;)
---

And for you last point, I could imagine that she is now after being interrupted twice by the parents she might like it to tease her brother and make him all frustrated about no cumming.

she could always get a little bit meaner, to see what she can do everything with her brother
make him blue balls for fun, let him suffer for her pleasure.
little cbt, shoelace, etc.
and maybe even shows her new toy to a good girlfriend. ;)

And finally, sorry for my bad english I hope you can decipher it all.

Hope you find what constructive in my comments.

Edit: I enjoyed this tease again an I found out there are two differend endings, nice job man.
I dont want to spoiler here ;)

Btw there are random endings on this tease. You won't always get "interupted". :)

i was thinking that when i read kunz post, cos that didnt happen to me!

I love these teases, 1 and 2. They are great but the the precum thing should be deleted.