Milovana.com

Lady X wrote:

wanker wrote:I rather have the Dominants' perspective on this. Lady X? LMJ? Nikki?

Is it "better" to have a sub who genuinely wants to cum or one who does not? Does that affect the pleasure you gain from denying the orgasm?

If one never wants to cum and only wants to be denied or have have their orgasms ruined, I personally wouldn't like that.

That was the exact point I was wondering about. Thank you for expanding.

Hello;

i am Serra. The Stockings and Pumps site is mine ( http://stockingsandpumps.com ) - I'm glad you found it and thank you for posting it! (I found this post by following my web stats).

It's interesting you posted this now, as i was thinking of making a blog post or three on why OD is so important to me and something i have always fantasized about and sought out when looking for a Dom/sub relationship.

It's semi-complicated but, like most things sexual (especially when it comes to BDSM and Dom/sub) - it's almost all mental.

To go into sub-space, which is a feeling i crave, a Dom needs to effectively put me there. If it's someone i've been trained by or had a history with, just his presence can drop me into sub-space a bit. But the most effective means is a demonstration/display of his power over me - and my submitting to him. That is what starts to drop me down and then it goes from there.

Giving up control of my orgasm, taking a tease and holding off, edging for his pleasure or my punishment, going without - all are equal to things like being on my knees, servicing him, taking a spanking or more. It's part of the give and take. And part of what takes me where i need to be.

Why specifically OD and why is that such a strong factor to me? i'm not sure. i look at it part of ongoing training and a way to keep me primed and ready for him at all times. Thinking about him while i'm doing my work or errands because he had me edge before leaving. Wondering when/if i will get to cum next. Hoping i am pleasing him.

Anyway, that's just my take. Thanks again for posting this topic and finding my site! It's still in its infancy!

~Serra

Welcome to Milovana, Serra : D.. I hope you'll stay longer than one post : D.

Indy: Very well said ! : )..

Indigo wrote: As long as we're all getting what we want out of the dynamic, does anything else matter?

*stops to contemplate that for awhile.......because I think it does...but I'm not sure how to put what I am thinking into words*

Indigo wrote:Something I've recently given some thought, with this question ... it does seem that online D/s, and life in general, vs. reality, is that folks on the internet crave the *fantasy* aspect much more. Never having an orgasm is a fantasy for most, not a reality. They want a Dom/me that's going to take the more extreme fantasies, and roll with them, because they can safely explore them here, whereas reality might not present the same experience.

You might be Domming some gorgeous 24 year old brunette, who's fantasy is to receive beatings on a daily basis, and wants to wear the marks of her Dom/me proudly. The person behind the keyboard, on the other hand, might be a 45 year old mother of three, who works in the dentists office you were at this morning. The internet allows us the freedom to be who we want to be, not who we are. Some folks like who they are, some just want to be someone else.

You're right, there's those out there that beg (insincerely) for things. That's usually because the act of begging itself is what they enjoy ... in the end, does it matter? As long as we're all getting what we want out of the dynamic, does anything else matter?

Yes, it matters. Genuineness matters.

Thanks for the welcome!

i've been looking around, and i like how active and interactive this site. i plan to sitck around, definitely. My blog is about to get a lot more lively again, as well!

~Serra