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sillynick wrote: i have just got in from last nights celebrations for my friends birthday.

Dirty stop out!

Little Miss Jay x

Little Miss Jay wrote:

sillynick wrote: i have just got in from last nights celebrations for my friends birthday.

Dirty stop out!

Little Miss Jay x

He sniffed a beer mat.

dix.

dix wrote:

Little Miss Jay wrote:

sillynick wrote: i have just got in from last nights celebrations for my friends birthday.

Dirty stop out!

Little Miss Jay x

He sniffed a beer mat.

dix.

Close dix, quite close.

Miss Jay i am a dirty OLD stop out, thank You. Fortunately the bangy heid has gone and i believe that it is now half past beer o'clock so i may take a wander down to a local establishment that is renowned for its fine wines and ales and there i will part with some dubloons and accept a tankard of foaming forthy ale from the tavern owner in order to quaff some more beeryade with friends as well.

sillynick wrote: Miss Jay i am a dirty OLD stop out, thank You. Fortunately the bangy heid has gone and i believe that it is now half past beer o'clock so i may take a wander down to a local establishment that is renowned for its fine wines and ales and there i will part with some dubloons and accept a tankard of foaming forthy ale from the tavern owner in order to quaff some more beeryade with friends as well.

They don't sell ale down south!

dix.

Its quite funny people from the UK talking about "beer".

Thats like construction workers talking about nuclear technology

dix wrote:

sillynick wrote: Miss Jay i am a dirty OLD stop out, thank You. Fortunately the bangy heid has gone and i believe that it is now half past beer o'clock so i may take a wander down to a local establishment that is renowned for its fine wines and ales and there i will part with some dubloons and accept a tankard of foaming forthy ale from the tavern owner in order to quaff some more beeryade with friends as well.

They don't sell ale down south!

dix.

Funny how i was drinking ale from the Hogs Back Brewery. And a mighty fine drop or Tea it was as well. Heartilty recommended.

Just had a flash back to last night as well. i was chatting up tis young lovely when her mate said that the lovely's boyfriend was in the bar. That's ok said little drunk nick, i'm out here.

dix wrote:

sillynick wrote: Miss Jay i am a dirty OLD stop out, thank You. Fortunately the bangy heid has gone and i believe that it is now half past beer o'clock so i may take a wander down to a local establishment that is renowned for its fine wines and ales and there i will part with some dubloons and accept a tankard of foaming forthy ale from the tavern owner in order to quaff some more beeryade with friends as well.

They don't sell ale down south!

dix.

Yeah they do- I don't drink it though!

Little Miss Jay x

See dix even Miss Jay backs me up on this one so it must be true - so ner

Thanks Miss Jay.

Hello Nika,

Well here is my report.....

First of all when I read your assignment I went a little overboard with anticipation and wanted to do it but I forgot one very important thing, I needed permission to do it. So thanks to Miss Jay she gracefully allowed me to do that task. (Thank you again Miss jay).


So I setup a bucket with the required mix of ice and water as directed and placed it on the floor of my home office. I knelt as instructed and in front of my computer screen reading the instructions again.

Having not cum in a few weeks and normally being a stroker that used to masturbate a few times a day I thought to myself, "hehe that will be an easy one". So I dunk my precious package in the icy water and started the stopwatch, at first the water was not so bad and I became hard even being in icy water.....(or was I hard even before dipping into the water?).

I started feeling a little tingling after 45 seconds and decided to step up out of the water for a bit. I looked down and saw my cock still hard but looking smaller than usual and kinda reddish from the cold probably.

I waited a couple minutes to make sure my balls would warm up a little, and proceeded again. This time I couldn't last more than 30 seconds, it felt like small sharp little shard needles pricking my ball sack. so I went back an forth to manage a total of 150 strokes.

I was very confident to cum since I have a huge buildup inside me..... but to my horror when I started stroking right coming out of the icy water, each stroke was painful, at least the first ones, around the 50th it started to feel good a little but my precious package was so numb from the cold water when I started really feeling something I was done with my 150th stroke. Oh the frustration!!!!!!

This is where I got really silly, I took a tube of Ben Gay and covered my balls with it, it didn't heat at all so I grinned and added more than usual...... still nothing. I was confident again that it would be an easy thing so here I go again dunking my precious pack in the icy water.

Still not feeling any heat I was laughing in my head, "yeah right that is going to be easy this time". I lasted a full 90 seconds before I started feeling the effect of the ice cold water so I stood up, my erection had gotten away this time. I massaged a bit my balls and then the heat started to be felt..... very painfully I have to say. I quickly went down on my knees and dipped my balls in the ice cold water. 10 seconds at a time. The pain was fading when I was in cold water but when I got out it was burning again.

This time I felt trapped LOL, either feel the freezing or the painful heat..... I looked like I was literally doing squats in my office over a bucket full of ice and water......

I managed to accumulate 240 strokes this time but all of a sudden I heard noise outside my house, to my horror again I saw my neighbor pulling into my driveway and getting out of his car.

I quickly stood up and got a towel to dry myself and put on my clothes quickly and headed to the door, when suddenly something horrible struck me...... I had just got dressed, so that meant I lost my so painfully acquired strokes and I was now burning in my pants and smelling that minty odor that is typical to Ben Gay. I just wanted to cry then....

When I opened the door to my neighbor I tried to look as normal as I could, fighting the fire between my legs and hoping he would not notice anything but I was mortified.

He came to get a fridge from my garage, (I had forgotten that I called him earlier this morning to ask him to come and pick it up). So there I went to help him put the fridge in his truck, thank god it was a small one but with your ball on fire anything looks bigger than normal. After what seemed like an eternity he finally left (he was here like 10 minutes tops but did it ever felt like hours!!!!).

As soon as he left I headed to the shower and took a long warm one, thinking how I had been tricked by myself during this whole ordeal...... the the song "Great Balls of Fire" came into my mind and now I cannot get it out .

Anyway lesson learned, Never assume anything from a task, and never do them in the middle of the afternoon when people might show up.


Sorry for the rambling and poor English sometimes but it's not my language.


Oh and Thank you Nika for this lovely assignment and thanks to you Miss Jay for allowing me to do it.


-Neo

tvmaria wrote:Its quite funny people from the UK talking about "beer".

Thats like construction workers talking about nuclear technology

Makes a change from us Brits talking about the weather.

Funny you should mention nuclear technology as i was chatting up a rocket scientist last night. Very pretty woman with far too much intelligence as She went home with out me.

sillynick wrote:

tvmaria wrote:Its quite funny people from the UK talking about "beer".

Thats like construction workers talking about nuclear technology

Makes a change from us Brits talking about the weather.

Funny you should mention nuclear technology as i was chatting up a rocket scientist last night. Very pretty woman with far too much intelligence as She went home with out me.

And rocket science has what to do with nuclear tech?

dix.

It was more to do with subjects that require a lot of learning and knowledge.

sillynick wrote:It was more to do with subjects that require a lot of learning and knowledge.

Making things go bang is simple physics.

dix.

Nika Ferlinghetti wrote:*claps hands* RedFred a truly wonderful report. You other wankers could learn from freddie. .... Good boy!

Nika

Thank You for the compliment Miss Nika, I am very happy (and honored)you are pleased with my report. I am looking forward to next week when hopefully I and others may have another chance to please you again with our reports ... even if we are "successfully" in our dates ... or not

RedFred

dix wrote:

sillynick wrote:It was more to do with subjects that require a lot of learning and knowledge.

Making things go bang is simple physics.

dix.

The making it go bang bit is simple physics. The making it capable of going at Mach 3 and not melting before it hits its target is the difficult bit. That is where the having to get a Phd in physics or maths comes in with the lots of learning.

Of course simple chemistry is what is involved with the making of beer. The difficult bit after that is which one to drink first.