Milovana.com

i had thought i had clearly stated it before but ill say it again... sexual preference is not in our genes. Though some scientists believe sexual orientation may be in the genes it is not proven and is widely regarded with skepticism. And we are not born all the same, each person has its own unique genetic make-up, fetish likings are bron from external sources which then are accepted by the person. If BDSM was a gene it would make it an instinct, which is clearly not true

ok fine i disagree but whatever.

it matters?

why did you have to resurrect a dead thread? lol

I am white.. and I have now enough posts for the the Mean Girls Club application.. :))

Well if the guy hadnt resurrected this thread I wouldn't have noticed it and I find this pretty interesting - and agree with that punk guy who said that sexuality is all in the culture and upbringing. We might have a sexual instinct to reproduce (and the theme of this site kinda works against that a bit, doesnt it? lol) but that's all, the way I see it. And I've also wondered why the bdsm community seems to be populated by white caucasians and agree that it has to do with the western world being more liberal on sex, despite the influence of Christianity. But theres still a lot of African Americans for instance, and they just dont seem to be that interested - or at least involved - in bdsm. And thats just a shame - I like black women lol

Anyway, to say that nature made me a submissive or whatnot and that it's in my genes just doesnt make sense to me. Why would nature groom me to submit?

koala17 wrote:I am white.. and I have now enough posts for the the Mean Girls Club application.. :))

You understand nothing, dude.

Why would nature groom me to submit?

Our nature is not only based on domination. The evolution would not work if there is not a balance between domination and submission. I mean it's difficult to compare, I would say the evolution don't know the sense of domination or submission. To answer your question is senseless if you want to find out why you are submissive.

Oh I'm not trying to figure out why I'm submissive (least not in this thread), I was just trying to make the point that I dont think that nature would have any interest in in making anybody a sub. Not nature, not genes, not anything that happens at birth. I'm a Freudian, the guy makes sense, and it's all in the mind and all in different experiences you get. They groom you to be a submissive or a dominant, nature doesn't. That's my story and I'm sticking to it

Human. At least the last time I looked in the mirror.

koala17 wrote:I am white.. and I have now enough posts for the the Mean Girls Club application.. :))

Do you really think your getting in now?

Anyways... Im white. And on the topic of how we are programmed into being sub/dom etc. I agree that bdsm is not in the genes... That just doesnt seem logical to me. Although... I do believe genes has something to do with it. Most women are naturally sexually submissive, thats why there are so few dommes out there compared to submissive women. And although there seems to be a huge number of submissive men, i do believe there are more dominant men out there. And personally, even though i consider myself a domme, i still have the urge to be taken hard and thrown around the room every now and again, whether this is in my genes, who can say? But i think we become submissive or dominant because of what we find socially acceptable and our opinion on different sexual topics etc.

I really don't think there is a 'natural' difference that makes men more likely to be dominant and women more likely to be submissive. I think the way we are socialized tends to produce those results. It's presented as the norm of even vanilla sex by most of society. I also think there a lot of dominant women out there who don't make it well known.

I think it's completely normal for people to have desires outside there main ones. I'm more of a sub but I still love giving a good spanking now and again

Really I think the social norms made me think I was more into the dominant side then I actually was and for a long time thought I was a top, as this was the most common model I saw for both vanilla and bdsm sex. Once I actually let go of thinking I should be the top and let someone else take control it blew my mind...

Anyways I guess I'm quibbling over details here.

Oh, and I'm 'white'

White.

Mz_Teneale wrote: And on the topic of how we are programmed into being sub/dom etc. I agree that bdsm is not in the genes... That just doesnt seem logical to me. Although... I do believe genes has something to do with it.

Yeah we can't know it exactly. I mean the gene code is in every cell in our body so it also influences how we are thinking. It specifics our individuality. On the other hand I think that some things must happen in the early lifetime.

I don't know why I have sexual submissive fantasies, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I always was a stubborn, tough and dominant person. I had my first submissive fantasies before I knew what sex is. I think the answer is difficult. I think it's a combination of several factors what makes our sexuality.

ok since this thread has started again lol.

I'm white and im an alcoholic... no sorry wrong site...

i'm white and the reason i enjoy BDSM is because it's simply liberating to let yourself loose and to have someone else make decisions for you, as for the punishable side of it well that just reinforces the idea of not being in control. I know it's an oxymoron but that's just the way i feel.