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Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Sat May 24, 2014 1:49 pm
by ohyesplease
For me, this was definitly a five-star! Opposedly to some of the other critics above, I really liked the story-based character of this webtease as it inspired my imagination, which in my opinion is an important part of a tease. For me it was also enough "stroking-action".

I have only one small critique, regarding the consistency of the story: In the closet, where he has to put on the chastity-cage by himself: first of all, without supervision, he would have been able to stroke himself to orgasm before putting the cage on, but still more importantly, after letting him out, she asks for the keys to the devise. I mean, first of all you do not need a key to close the lock on that device, only to open it, and secondly, if he had the key, i think he would have opened the cage in order to stroke, when he heard her masturbating, no matter what. So I think it would have been more logical to first lock him up, and than put him into this closet for whichever reason.

Apart from this, i consider the story perfect, and I really, really seldomly rate a tease whith 5 stars.

regards

By the way, I was talking about part 2! Part 1 was a little bit to short in deed

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Sat May 24, 2014 5:46 pm
by Trusfrated
Those are some great points, ohyesplease! Thanks for taking the time to articulate them. (And thanks for the compliments, too!) I think when you are writing a tease (or doing anything creative) sometimes you get so involved in your "work" that it can be difficult to step back and independently evaluate things from a "big picture" perspective.

As for your first point about why he doesn't just jerk off in the closet: he is feeling defeated and submissive by this time. There's a line about that before he walks into the closet. He is probably afraid of being disobedient at this point, so he's just going to do what he's told and go home as quickly as he can.

The deal with the key though, is a poor choice on my part. I think I only mentioned the key so as to let the reader know that she definitely is the one holding it. I will probably change the wording a bit around that point thanks to your suggestion. Even if he willingly puts on the cage, you're right that he would probably take it off again once he hears her. (He's not that broken! :-P )

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 2:21 pm
by Franckparis
Bonjour

Maybe the best Webtease ever !
Can't wait for the third part..

Thank you for your work.

F

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 10:31 pm
by Trusfrated
Franckparis wrote:Bonjour

Maybe the best Webtease ever !
Can't wait for the third part..

Thank you for your work.

F
Thank you, sir!

It's very nice when someone who doesn't post very often is moved enough to comment. :wave:

I'm glad you enjoyed the tease.

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Wed May 28, 2014 7:40 am
by targitai
Great tease! Fuck! I denied again! But I liked it! What the hell? It's incredible! When the third part will be done?

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Wed May 28, 2014 7:46 am
by Trusfrated
I've updated the script slightly on three pages (actually 12, because of different available variations) to clarify and correct a bit of a logic error that ohyesplease pointed out.

Thanks again, everyone, for your support!

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 1:44 pm
by Franckparis
Hello !
May I ask when we can hope to see the next episod ?

A suggestion :
It could be effective to be more precise : when a girl orders to edge, she should say so clearly. (It's not always like that in episod 2)

Thanks !
F

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2014 1:23 am
by Trusfrated
Franckparis wrote:Hello !
May I ask when we can hope to see the next episod ?

A suggestion :
It could be effective to be more precise : when a girl orders to edge, she should say so clearly. (It's not always like that in episod 2)
Thanks for the suggestion. If I understand you correctly, I would just say that often in my story the girl does not want you to edge, but you can't help it. But either way, I will try to remember to be more clear in the future.

As for when Part 3 will be released, I cannot say. I don't wish to release substandard work, and I am having some "writer's block" problems lately. So I've tried to stop thinking so much about it. Perhaps when I return from vacation in two weeks I will become inspired again. In fact, I have the scenes outlined. It's just that writing all the detail and instructions is sometimes not so fun as thinking about the fantasy. It's fair to accuse me of being lazy sometimes. :-|

Does anyone else have this problem with writing teases?

1. I don't feel like writing when I'm not horny. (I should be doing more important things.)
2. When I'm horny, I'd rather look at other teases/videos and jerk off. (Instant gratification)
3. When I cum, see step 1.

Should I write while I'm locked in chastity? (I've tried this before with mixed results.)

Perhaps I'm just not disciplined enough. :whip:

When do you do your best tease-writing work?

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Tue Oct 14, 2014 8:50 pm
by leetitoldu
hey, you created very nice teases, cant wait for next episode.. :w00t:

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 5:06 am
by Trusfrated
Well friends, finally: The Ultimatum, Part 3! :w00t:

I apologize for it being a whole year since Part 2, but I'm sure you all know how life goes. :blush: Unfortunately, several members who so positively encouraged me (either here or in PM) don't seem to be active visitors anymore. I really wish they could have had the opportunity to try Part 3. :-(

If you haven't played through the first two parts recently I encourage you to do so, as Part 3 picks up right after the events in Part 2. (Of course it will still be very enjoyable without, it's just that there are some details of the story that you may have forgotten.)

Once again I have created both Nyx (Flash Tease) and TeaseMe (offline HD) versions, and each has sound effects and an optional metronome. (Links are also in the first post of this thread.) This one has a couple surprises also, that I'd prefer not to spoil at this time. I hope whichever version you use, that it works out well for you.

Please, as always, let me know of any bugs, typos, or other mistakes you might possibly encounter. Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome.

Happy teasing! :wave:

Flash: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=29834

TeaseMe: https://mega.co.nz/#!RUxjyKwb!eTCJymjUl ... nVaNNKV9dA

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Fri May 22, 2015 10:47 am
by Kurdt57
Vow!! :) The second part was one of the best teases! :) Cant wait to try this! Thank you!

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2015 3:13 pm
by leetitoldu
damn, im back just in time for next part, lucky me :w00t:

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Thu Jun 11, 2015 9:59 pm
by daylight
Mmm today come's more? I remember this hot story...

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Sat Jul 04, 2015 10:32 am
by GDboy126
After finishing the part 3 and the Cuckold by Email, I can't wait to see what will happen in part 4. lol, the husband was pissed off so bad by his wife, I want to see how author makes the response for the husband. Anyway, thanks for great tease!

Re: FB: The Ultimatum

Posted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 3:43 am
by Trusfrated
Thanks very much for the kind feedback. I'm really glad you enjoyed it! :-D
GDboy126 wrote:After finishing the part 3 and the Cuckold by Email, I can't wait to see what will happen in part 4. lol, the husband was pissed off so bad by his wife, I want to see how author makes the response for the husband. Anyway, thanks for great tease!
I can assure you, the husband is going quite mad! :w00t: