on the brink

[Claudius]

Hello,

I wonder if I am the only one who experience this and what there is going on. Sometimes after tease and denial and edging, I am on the absolute brink. I never experienced a normal orgasm after it. It is always a ruined one. There is a big tension in my balls. Maybe just blue balls but it is hurting like wtf. I don't know if blue balls sounds too nice.

I cannot do anything about it. I could try to relax and that will make me feel okay/bored and often I lose all pleasure. I just could wait like forever and every time I am teased I feel nothing or pain and a need to cum, but without feeling aroused. I get really angry and upset with other people. I could lose intereset in food and it could be hard to sleep.

It is even not that I am on the last stroke. It take the usual duration to masturbate and cum, if I was at least one time in the relaxed, boring, numb state. I lose all criteria to know how close I am, because it hurts or I feel numb for a duration and than I am over the edge and a ruined orgasm occurs.It takes an hour or a day to feel recovered.

What happened in my body? My idea is that maybe my cum is released in a "lobby" and waitung to befully released. But I don't know and I cannot believe that science can approve it. But what is up in my body. It is so strange.

It is hard to keep in that mood so the longest time I wait for release is 3 days. It first happened with a chastity cage but it is not necessary, if I just stop in the right moment. But I am not always happy with it. Because II don't hit the point of no return but I hit the point of no return, but now only a ruined orgasm is avaible. Or does someone know how to return to a state, that teasing is possible again and to finish to a full orgasm.

I am in that state again and am not happy because I want to go in chatity for the whole May. I don't know what I should do. Because of covid I can avoid society and it is not important that it is hard to be friendly know. So I could try to go along with it. But cleaning is a extremly risky now. A chance of 150% that I go over the edge and if not I would most likely be to weak to lock the cage again. There is a need to cum, not even pleasure or arousal or fun, but a blind desperate need to recover.

Ironically a handsfree orgasm is impossible, too. Because there is a big fence to jump over before the ruined orgasm occures. It is not likely that I touch my self accidently and go over the edge. It is really more that my instict takes over and I cannot stop jerking.

I am grateful for your advice and opinion.

Your Claudius