Comments, concerns and overall review of Mom’s New Slave Part 1

All about the past, current and future webteases and the art of webteasing in general.
---
Post Reply
Rjp0220
Curious Newbie
Curious Newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2019 12:50 am
Gender: Male
Sexual Orientation: Open to new ideas!
I am a: Switch
Dom/me(s): I do not but I would mind being owned by a dom
Sub/Slave(s): I do not but wouldn’t mind bring a master or a dom
Location: United States of America

Comments, concerns and overall review of Mom’s New Slave Part 1

Post by Rjp0220 »

Hi everyone, I would like to thank you for taking the time togo through my web-tease Mom’s New Slave (MNS). Really means a lot been think about writing a few for a while now. But feel free to leave any type of criticism, would love to here feed back on how I can prepare the next part of the series.
scientision
Curious Newbie
Curious Newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Mar 04, 2020 11:15 pm
Gender: Male
Sexual Orientation: Straight

Re: Comments, concerns and overall review of Mom’s New Slave Part 1

Post by scientision »

Now its only my personal taste, bit I like the "Gentle Femdom" feel that the story has so far, which is a thing I wish I saw more of around here. She still feels she still has a genuine mothers love, without the disdain or disrespect for the son as a person that most femdom or dominant/submissive stories seem to move to and I hope she doesn't lose that as the story progresses.

Now I have a list of suggested edits, mostly for formatting, readability.

Page 1

Code: Select all

<p class="text">Hello and Welcome to Mom’s New Slave.<br>Part 1 of a mini series, also this is my first tease so I hope you all enjoy.</p>
Page 2

Code: Select all

<p class="text">Note: For this tease you will need: Lube, An enema/enema kit</p>
Page 3

Code: Select all

<p class="text">It’s been two weeks since you’ve been back home from college, and not finding a job for a month. You have applied to numerous job applications via online and in-hand resumes.<br><br> Maybe the decision of going into business management, wasn’t such a great idea after all, since you couldn’t find a job in New York? Anyways, you’re back in your hometown of Boston and maybe new opportunities will arise. You roll out of bed and head to the shower.</p>
Page 4

Code: Select all

<p class="text">You're going to want to get ready to use your enema/enema kit.<br><br>Now your going to take a normal shower but your going to clean your self out for later in this part. You can read this page now or wait until you have showered (I recommend reading before so you can really indulge in this series, and fell like your the character make up your thoughts based along with the story).<br><br><br>As you turn on the water, your thoughts being wondering through your head on how you can help your mother around the house and show her that you can be responsible and take care of matters financialy.<br><br>It’s been hard since Dad died in a car accident on the way home in a really bad winter storm, but since she had graduated college and became a successful Business owner, you figured to follow her footsteps since your father was a lawyer you knew there was no way you could withstand that much schooling. Perhaps it might have worked out.<br><br>Being back home wasn’t part of the plan. While focused on school you missed out on most of the parties trying to build your resume, while taking internships in the summer your dating life hasn’t been all that since your high school years, where parting and hooking up with the babes was always happing.<br><br>But you haven’t seen anyone around recently except David but he took over his parents bakery, so he constantly busy all the time (nothing like great ole fashion Italian bakery). So you have been experimenting lately with anal play and prostate massages. You have grown quite fond of ass play but no one knows not even your mother.<br><br> Which reminds you to when you where home and you were still young as a child and had seen your first boobs and round ass before, when you had accidentally open up her door from being cracked opened.<br><br>Since then you had always felt different about you mother but now she as aged as have you have as well. As the say sometimes women aged like fine wine. Your thoughts are running wild being on this subject, the last time you spied on your mother was the other night and has never said anything, (impressive since you jackoff into your hand while in her room). You're all cleaned up now, ready to tackle a new day. You dry off and head down the hallway to your mom’s room.</p>
Page 5

Code: Select all

<p class="text">Hmmmm&hellip; she’s not here, you look at the time on your phone (7:43 am)<br><br> It is Friday and you mom only works Monday thru Thursday, usually she don’t get up till 8:30, anyways you head down stairs.</p>
Page 6

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Hey Honey how are you this morning?"<br><br>"Could be better" you reply.<br><br>"Aww, why is that baby?"<br><br>"Well you know I haven’t been able to find a job since I’ve been out of school and I feel worthless, I don’t have my own place and I’m back at home with my mom."<br><br>"Aww sweetie you’ll find something, you have been going out every day to find one eventually a company will hire you, got to have faith but don’t worry so hard on yourself right now I’m proud of you graduating with a masters degree in business your father would be so proud."<br>Your face lightens up.<br>"Thanks mom that really means a lot, So why are you up so early this morning?"<br><br>"Oh I have some errands I got to run before for I go into a meeting at work this afternoon."<br><br>"Oh your going in? What’s the meeting about?"<br><br>"We are having a merger with another clothing line, who is going into business with a jewelry line, that will showcase our clothes on their models wearing their jewelry."<br><br>"Wow good luck today."<br><br>"Thanks honey you too, anyways I made some coffee if you like, I have something I’d like to talk to you about."<br><br>"Sure mom."</p>
Page 7

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"So the other night while I was sleeping&hellip; you know the night I’m talking about. I woke up out of my dream because I was hearing a strange noise.<br><br>It happened to be you whacking the bat&hellip; <i>hehe</i>" She giggles as you blush.<br><br>"Also I noticed my covers where down to my waist and one side of my nightdress was down and my left tit was out.<br><br>Now as I was sitting there thinking of yelling at you.<br>I thought to myself how long as he been doing this?"</p>
Page 8

Code: Select all

<p class="text">You stop your mom mid way through her conversation. "Mom I can explain please I’m sorry."<br><br> "Now hold it right there mister, I’m the one talking right now."<br><br>"As I was saying&hellip; How long could he have been doing this for?<br>Not just this time but how did he start this?<br><br>Then I remember one day I was getting ready to meet you dad, as he was getting of work and had made reservations to the restaurant where he proposed to me too.<br><br>I noticed my door open when I was changing and you standing there eyes wide open fondling your pants I giggled then.<br><br>Oh you must have been about 10 or 11. It was a few years before your father passed, back to the topic now.<br><br> I get it since I have stayed in shape and gone to the gym to stay attractive you have been fond of me deep down. I’m not mad&hellip; I’m just surprised is all."<br><br>You feel blushed and embarrassed with out any word right now for an explanation, because somehow you have always thought she never knew you had seen her nude before even though she was wearing panties when you peaked in.</p>
Page 9

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"<i>So</i>&hellip; you like my physique?<br><br>I have to admit since your dad died I have explored my sexuality with a few other men&hellip; <i>and some girls&hellip;  hehe</i>" She laughs.<br><br>"What? Wow mom really? I didn’t think you were very explorative."<br><br>"Oh come on we were all teens and college kids once, right sweetie?" She gives you a winky face ;)<br><br>"Well yeah, but still you don’t think of your parents like that." (lol)<br><br>"Anyways I can see your getting a little hard here. Don’t touch yourself, I have'nt thought of how to punish you yet.</p>
Page 10

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Now I have to be leaving soon to run my errands and you've go job searching to do.  But I want to leave you with this."</p>
Page 11* You dont see her panties in the picture

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"It’s not much but can you guess about of the color of my panties, I have on right now&hellip;<br><br>I don’t want you to get too excited before you go out, wouldn't want you to be stuck with and hard wood&hellip; <i>hehe</i>." </p>
Page 12

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Alright, I’m off. You have a good afternoon I will see you later."</p>
Page 13

Code: Select all

<p class="text">You head back to your room confused and irritated because of your erection, so you lay down and decide to just nap while your mom is out for the day to think about what just happened.</p>
Page 14

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Hey honey, was just about to hop in the shower. Why don’t you get naked?"<br><br>Get Naked</p>
Page 15

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Why don’t you start stroking you cock slowly for 3 minutes."</p>
Page 16

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"How do you like that sweetie?"<br><br>You try to respond but no words come out.<br><br>
"Why don’t you pick up the pace and stroke medium pace for 3 minutes, I want an edge soon."</p>
Page 17

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Do you like my tits? These are the one you love jacking off to. Get close to edge and get ready to hold."</p>
Page 18

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Oh yeah. Edge for me. Hold it for 1 minute."</p>
Page 19

Code: Select all

<p class="text">Good boy! How do you like my ass?"<br><br>Once again you try to speak but no words come out.<br><br>"Now I want you to go back to slow pace and make that cock start to leak. Stroke your cock slow pace for 2 minutes."</p>
Page 20

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Stroke your cock fast and get close to the edge."</p>
Page 21

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Now hold that edge for 1 minute and 30 seconds."</p>
Page 22

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Take a one minute break. This is getting me all hot, I need my toy."<br><br>You just sit there in a trance not believing what is happening, you think to yourself: "Is this real or is it a dream?"</p>
Page 23

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Mhmmmm&hellip;. yeah&hellip;&hellip; you wish this your cock in my mouth. Back to stroking at a medium pace for 3 minutes."</p>
Page 24

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Oh yeah baby&hellip; That’s it&hellip; Stroke slow for 1 minute and 30 seconds."</p>
Page 25

Code: Select all

<p class="text">Oh yeah honey&hellip; It feels so good&hellip; I’m going to cum soon&hellip; Pick up the pace, stroke your cock medium pace for 3 minutes."</p>
Page 26

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Oh yeah&hellip; That’s it, that's the spot.<br><br>Pick up the pace stroke fast for a 1 minute and get ready to edge."<br><br>Get to your edge and hold it.</p>
Page 27

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Now blast all over your chest and face, if you can.<br> Good boy!&hellip; Very good boy.</p>
Page 28

Code: Select all

<p class="text">"Now clean up"<br><br> All of sudden everything start to go grey and fizzy. Everything begins to fade out.</p>
Page 29

Code: Select all

<p class="text">You wake up and you feel all sticky after you just busted a nut. Your realize you just had a hot dream with your mom as your mistress. Feeling strange you can either lick your self clean your take a shower, but your going to take a shower anyways as you hear the alarm signal the front door opened. THE END.<br><br>I hope you liked it, the next tease coming in a couple of weeks. As I wait for reviews on this. Part 2 soon 
<br>
<br>
<br>
You can go here and talk about the series https://milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=22658</p>
Post Reply