Feedback: Infinity Wars [Rec 1]: Prologue
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user_anonymous921
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user_anonymous921
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Re: Feedback: Infinity Wars [Rec 1]: Prologue
Also as you can see, this is my first webtease so could you guys suggest me some good sources for getting pics for furture webteases in this series?
I am anonymous!
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Fledrin
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Re: Feedback: Infinity Wars [Rec 1]: Prologue
I just read through this tease, and overall I like it. As a story, this is a good teaser; it sets up a lot to look forward to. Your descriptions are solid and the details have been explained thoroughly. However, I wonder what the next installment will look like.
I have a few recommendations for your next installment, since I assume it will include teasing and instructions. These are my biased opinions, and they could very well be wrong:
Don't include pictures of just men. I don't know how most people feel about this, but when I see a picture of a guy on the screen, I get turned off instantly. Unless the scenario is inherently sexual, then seeing another male while I want to be aroused doesn't work.
Include details and descriptions, but not too much. Obviously there's a lot of detail in this one because it's a setup, but spread out details across pictures and instructions to maintain the viewer's focus for the next tease. It will help keep people engaged and excited.
Switch the point of view. This tease reads like the perspective of the camcorder. It works for a story line, but I have a hard time putting myself in the character's shoes when you describe him like a third person. Instead of describing your protagonist's actions, maybe describe "my" actions; little changes in writing can go a long way to make someone feel like they're in the story.
Thank you for contributing to the Milovana community! I look forward to seeing your next creation.
I have a few recommendations for your next installment, since I assume it will include teasing and instructions. These are my biased opinions, and they could very well be wrong:
Don't include pictures of just men. I don't know how most people feel about this, but when I see a picture of a guy on the screen, I get turned off instantly. Unless the scenario is inherently sexual, then seeing another male while I want to be aroused doesn't work.
Include details and descriptions, but not too much. Obviously there's a lot of detail in this one because it's a setup, but spread out details across pictures and instructions to maintain the viewer's focus for the next tease. It will help keep people engaged and excited.
Switch the point of view. This tease reads like the perspective of the camcorder. It works for a story line, but I have a hard time putting myself in the character's shoes when you describe him like a third person. Instead of describing your protagonist's actions, maybe describe "my" actions; little changes in writing can go a long way to make someone feel like they're in the story.
Thank you for contributing to the Milovana community! I look forward to seeing your next creation.
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Fledrin
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Re: Feedback: Infinity Wars [Rec 1]: Prologue
Additionally, you asked about pictures:
I get pictures for my creations from Reddit and a couple other websites. I discovered fuskator.com a few days ago, and there's always freeones.com as well. There are a few threads on this topic though. I've also used pictures from premium memberships, but not everyone has a porn subscription.
I get pictures for my creations from Reddit and a couple other websites. I discovered fuskator.com a few days ago, and there's always freeones.com as well. There are a few threads on this topic though. I've also used pictures from premium memberships, but not everyone has a porn subscription.