Devotional things I can do for my gf.

[bdsmboynyc]

Hello,

I am a submissive and I am trying to get my gf into the scene. I really want to do things that make us feel connected and devoted to each other!!!!!

Right now I give her a foot massage every day. She really enjoys foot massages and she does feel that it connects us and its a devotional thing for me. I also told her I would do all the dishes and cook atleast once a week (not all the time because she is the better chef and she likes to cook anyway)

We are looking for more things that would be good for her. There are some things that I suggested or want but they are not really for her. For instance I told her I wanted to wear her panties, because I felt that would connect me to her. She is okay with it, but not really into it and doesn't get anything out of it. I also want her to control my orgasm, but she is not ready for that.

Anyone have suggestions about things (non sexual would probably be best) that we can start to incorporate?

[jscamp]

um try a pillow fight and let her win it will show her dominance and she might like being in control. i would give it a try. idk what she is into but you could do things that she likes.

[fibonacci11235]

I believe the way to get her to start taking the dominant role is to slowly incorporate submissive gestures toward her. Things like making sure she is first in everything, walking down the street, ordering dinner(or have her pick out your dinner choice), serving yourselves at dinner,etc. She controls the remote when you watch TV together. Tell her that sex is for her and for you is secondary, in other words its up to her if she wants to play with you, she gets as many orgasms as she wants. Do the chores around the house. When a decision needs to be made, have her make the decision. When you go to the kitchen to get something to eat, find her first, ask her if she would like something from the kitchen, then get it for her, before you even think about getting something for yourself.
Ultimately its about learning to refocus on her as the center of your world, this will bring out the dominant side of her. If you change your thinking from trying to get her to change to getting yourself to change she will come along for the ride and will be denying you orgasms before you know it.
check out: aroundherfinger.com, the elise sutton website, a site called worshipping your wife (could be girlfriend too), and there is a whole number of blogs out there that are great too.
Good luck and remember she is not going to turn dominant overnight. It is a long process but if you stick it out the rewards will come.

[Lindsey]

Listen to her when she talks. Look at her when you're with her, often.

Forget about compiling a list of seemingly submissive acts that you can do in lieu of being able to submit to her sexually. Stop and think about this for a minute...are you really looking for things to do for her, or are you trying to fill a void of emotions that you want to feel under the guise that it's for her?

I understand a situation being mutually beneficial if the both of you are into it. But try and separate acts that she will enjoy from acts that just give you a feeling that you're hoping to inject into the bedroom with her.

Also...she needs to respect you in that way before she'll ever want to control you, dominate you, ect. What's more alluring to me...? A guy saying to me, "Lindsey, please control me, i'll do whatever you want me to". Or, a guy that shows me he's an individual with a strong sense of self worth, who is thoughtful enough to put my own feelings in parallel with his (NOT ahead of them), and just happens to enjoy it when I work towards controlling him a bit? There has to be respect, and a little bt of a challenge involved.

Put yourself on a parallel level with her so the 2 of you are equals and you can feed off of what you do for each other. When that happens, you won't need to ask others what you can do for her...it will come to you naturally.

-L

[cumhardy]

Yeah I agree with Linsey there.
Most girls don't want a completely submissive boyfriend anyway. Guys are supposed to be kinda dominant (or thats what the common perception is) you dont want to scare her away by acting like a complete slave. I was in a relationship once where the girl did EVERYTHING for me, despite me asking her not to...she would cook all my meals, fetch me things etc etc... It just gets annoying because it seems like I'm being smothered.
Plus, you could get her to do all the things you want... deny you, make you wear panties, control your bowel movements, set fire to you (or whatever it is you like)... but it will be a shallow pleasure. You will be always thinking "Is this what she wants?" "is she enjoying this?". I mean the whole idea of being submissive is giving the other person what they want. Or allowing them to do to you exactly what they want to.
The best way Ive found to do this is to find out HER fantasies. Find out her deepest desires and fulful them for her. Sexually, this can be the most satisfying way to submit to someone.

If you really want to be denied and teased, you need to make sure your girlfriend wants to. And not just that she want to because its what you want and she likes to make you happy, but because she is actually turned on by the idea herself.


Im talking from negative experience here. Maybe I've just had a lot of bad luck but I definately know more about the WRONG way to go about this kind of thing. I know a lot about the DONTs rather than the DOs