[Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

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dafafa
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[Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by dafafa »

This is the tease: https://milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=40684
Please leave here your suggestions, bug reports etc.
I spent a lot of time on this while i didn't really know what i was doing, and since it's starting to get a little too big, i was hoping i could get some feedback before making the other 2 girls.
The idea was to have some kind of simulation with 3 different girls that focus on 3 different fetishes and eventually have them interact with each other based on your progress (example: if you finish the route of one girl, you unlock something related to her in another route). There are lots of variables that the "game" remembers and it's supposed to be played multiple times.
I hope it works as intended, if you land on a bad ending or if you want to start from 0, i put a button to reset everything, that should appear from the 2° time the tease is launched.

I still have no clue about what to do with the other girls, so feel free to make suggestion about them as well :)

UPDATE:
Tease back online, tried to implement and fix stuff, hopefully i didn't break anything
Last edited by dafafa on Wed May 01, 2019 10:29 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by YamiLoli »

Hi, dafafa,
First, I'd like to tell you that the ideas you have implemented in your tease are indescribably amazing, and that's considering that's just a part of the whole tease! The images are picked out perfectly, the atmosphere is intact, and I feel like I'm there with the girls. Now what you need is better execution of these ideas and more attention to details. That takes a lot of time, of course, but it will turn out amazing. Just take your time making up the structure of the tease and try to get more comfortable with using this editor--it feels like at some points you didn't figure out how to execute something, but that's common, I spent a lot of hours testing all the actions in the editor and experimenting. I absolutely love ruining orgasms and being denied, and for me, the way you approach these things is extremely exciting. I can already feel how complex this tease might turn out, but please, don't stop making it. In it's finished form it will be a treasure!

Now I'd like to point out some things I noted while playing. Keep in mind that some of these points are subjective.
!!! Please don't get discouraged from continuing to develop this tease after seeing these points, I know it takes time and effort to fix bugs and implement ideas, but I and a big part of Milovana community would really like to experience it fully.
  • The intro is a bit too hasty and lacks a train of thought of the player: maybe after the player says "my head hurts" it would be more appropriate if the next thought would be something along the lines of "I can't remember anything" and only then "what's my name?"
  • The first dialogue that occurs between the three girls is a bit unnatural. As far as I understood the girls already know you, but now, for some reason, they act as if they can't recognize you. I'm sure there is a way to solve this issue, so it feels smooth and natural, without breaking the structure of the following tease.
  • The automatically progressing text is a bit of an inconvenience. I mean it's either too slow(in the first dialogue between girls) or too fast. Maybe switching to the "click" option would be better?
  • In the Nanaka route, the first choice(if I remember correctly) lets you apologize to her. As for me, it's a natural and the most polite thing to do in such a situation, so I chose it. It leads to a quick end which is kind of disappointing, although maybe I should have opened the tease again and visited her. I didn't do it, so I don't know if there is a different route there.
  • Nanaka says "here I'll give you something to work with" but shows the image you've already seen if I remember correctly. Kind of illogical, although not critical.
  • She rushes through the masturbation process--excepts you to edge too soon. This is, of course, more of a subjective thing, everybody is different. But that was kind of too early to edge
  • At some point, she makes you edge and after a few seconds makes you masturbate at medium speed. It was difficult to hold in >.<
  • It wasn't exactly clear when she wanted you to cum the first time. Just a simple "cum and raise your hands" instead of just "raise your hands" at the end of the countdown would be perfect.
  • Now to the storyline: the way Nanaka forgives you so quickly and easily and then dates you and becomes your girlfriend is quite illogical and unexpected. Maybe she can play with you one more time after the first time and on the next day, after she calmed down, consider dating.
  • !!! This is quite important. There was a confusing choice. Nanaka tells you that she would be really happy to ruin your orgasm, but then she says she doesn't want to push you to it. If you ruin your orgasm for here she should be happy right? And so she says: "I will never do it again if you choose to do it for me" or something like this. She says you will never receive a blowjob from her again. I got really confused in that situation. I understood it this way: if you ruin it, she will be happy, and as a result, will be more friendly towards you and will give you more blowjobs. If you don't ruin it, then she will give you a blowjob BUT it will be the last one. It turned out to be the other way around :c I hope you can make this choice more clear to the player, especially the consequences.
  • It's kind of difficult to remember the phrase that you need to tell Nanaka for her to ruin your orgasm
  • Also, just a small bug: sometimes metronome sound runs out before the timer ends.
This is all I have for now. I wish you good luck and a lot of patience to keep working on this amazing project!
If there's anything you need help with, just message me! I will do my best to help you.

With sweet, innocent love
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by Shattered »

YamiLoli wrote: Tue Apr 30, 2019 5:07 pm Hi, dafafa,
First, I'd like to tell you that the ideas you have implemented in your tease are indescribably amazing, and that's considering that's just a part of the whole tease! The images are picked out perfectly, the atmosphere is intact, and I feel like I'm there with the girls. Now what you need is better execution of these ideas and more attention to details. That takes a lot of time, of course, but it will turn out amazing. Just take your time making up the structure of the tease and try to get more comfortable with using this editor--it feels like at some points you didn't figure out how to execute something, but that's common, I spent a lot of hours testing all the actions in the editor and experimenting. I absolutely love ruining orgasms and being denied, and for me, the way you approach these things is extremely exciting. I can already feel how complex this tease might turn out, but please, don't stop making it. In it's finished form it will be a treasure!

Now I'd like to point out some things I noted while playing. Keep in mind that some of these points are subjective.
!!! Please don't get discouraged from continuing to develop this tease after seeing these points, I know it takes time and effort to fix bugs and implement ideas, but I and a big part of Milovana community would really like to experience it fully.
  • The intro is a bit too hasty and lacks a train of thought of the player: maybe after the player says "my head hurts" it would be more appropriate if the next thought would be something along the lines of "I can't remember anything" and only then "what's my name?"
  • The first dialogue that occurs between the three girls is a bit unnatural. As far as I understood the girls already know you, but now, for some reason, they act as if they can't recognize you. I'm sure there is a way to solve this issue, so it feels smooth and natural, without breaking the structure of the following tease.
  • The automatically progressing text is a bit of an inconvenience. I mean it's either too slow(in the first dialogue between girls) or too fast. Maybe switching to the "click" option would be better?
  • In the Nanaka route, the first choice(if I remember correctly) lets you apologize to her. As for me, it's a natural and the most polite thing to do in such a situation, so I chose it. It leads to a quick end which is kind of disappointing, although maybe I should have opened the tease again and visited her. I didn't do it, so I don't know if there is a different route there.
  • Nanaka says "here I'll give you something to work with" but shows the image you've already seen if I remember correctly. Kind of illogical, although not critical.
  • She rushes through the masturbation process--excepts you to edge too soon. This is, of course, more of a subjective thing, everybody is different. But that was kind of too early to edge
  • At some point, she makes you edge and after a few seconds makes you masturbate at medium speed. It was difficult to hold in >.<
  • It wasn't exactly clear when she wanted you to cum the first time. Just a simple "cum and raise your hands" instead of just "raise your hands" at the end of the countdown would be perfect.
  • Now to the storyline: the way Nanaka forgives you so quickly and easily and then dates you and becomes your girlfriend is quite illogical and unexpected. Maybe she can play with you one more time after the first time and on the next day, after she calmed down, consider dating.
  • !!! This is quite important. There was a confusing choice. Nanaka tells you that she would be really happy to ruin your orgasm, but then she says she doesn't want to push you to it. If you ruin your orgasm for here she should be happy right? And so she says: "I will never do it again if you choose to do it for me" or something like this. She says you will never receive a blowjob from her again. I got really confused in that situation. I understood it this way: if you ruin it, she will be happy, and as a result, will be more friendly towards you and will give you more blowjobs. If you don't ruin it, then she will give you a blowjob BUT it will be the last one. It turned out to be the other way around :c I hope you can make this choice more clear to the player, especially the consequences.
  • It's kind of difficult to remember the phrase that you need to tell Nanaka for her to ruin your orgasm
  • Also, just a small bug: sometimes metronome sound runs out before the timer ends.
This is all I have for now. I wish you good luck and a lot of patience to keep working on this amazing project!
If there's anything you need help with, just message me! I will do my best to help you.

With sweet, innocent love
Yami
Good to see thorough feedback. Hope you critique my next tease :lol:
dafafa
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by dafafa »

Thanks for the in-depth feedback!
The intro is a bit too hasty and lacks a train of thought of the player: maybe after the player says "my head hurts" it would be more appropriate if the next thought would be something along the lines of "I can't remember anything" and only then "what's my name?"

I agree, the intro is mostly a placeholder, something that i made at the start, i plan to overhaul that part along with the "general route", including some kind of guidance for the player.
The first dialogue that occurs between the three girls is a bit unnatural. As far as I understood the girls already know you, but now, for some reason, they act as if they can't recognize you. I'm sure there is a way to solve this issue, so it feels smooth and natural, without breaking the structure of the following tease.

The idea was that they were your childhood friends and since you stayed away for so long they have trouble recognizing you, but again, i'll probably remake all that part as i haven't touched it in literally 2 months
The automatically progressing text is a bit of an inconvenience. I mean it's either too slow(in the first dialogue between girls) or too fast. Maybe switching to the "click" option would be better?

This is something i've been struggling to decide, i don't know if you realized but i made it skippable in a lot of parts, it still goes on automatically but you can skip it.
The idea was to have it skippable on regular dialogue, while locking it on auto during the tease. I'll check everything again and see if i can make it flow better.
In the Nanaka route, the first choice(if I remember correctly) lets you apologize to her. As for me, it's a natural and the most polite thing to do in such a situation, so I chose it. It leads to a quick end which is kind of disappointing, although maybe I should have opened the tease again and visited her. I didn't do it, so I don't know if there is a different route there.

There are tons of endings, and if you pick the right one you'll unlock new stuff. I should probably make that more clear with some notification or something (in that part you're supposed to say that you like her)
Nanaka says "here I'll give you something to work with" but shows the image you've already seen if I remember correctly. Kind of illogical, although not critical.

The idea is that she gives you the photo you were using as masturbation material at the beginning, can you elaborate more on this?
She rushes through the masturbation process--excepts you to edge too soon. This is, of course, more of a subjective thing, everybody is different. But that was kind of too early to edge

I think i know what you're talking about, i had a special reward set up if you managed to edge that quickly, was some kind of mini-challenge that i ended up removing because it was too obscure, but i left everything else intact.
At some point, she makes you edge and after a few seconds makes you masturbate at medium speed. It was difficult to hold in >.<

ahah, i can see the problem, noted.
It wasn't exactly clear when she wanted you to cum the first time. Just a simple "cum and raise your hands" instead of just "raise your hands" at the end of the countdown would be perfect.

i guess i listened to too many H-audio where it's a given that "0" is the signal to cum, i'll make that more explicit.
Now to the storyline: the way Nanaka forgives you so quickly and easily and then dates you and becomes your girlfriend is quite illogical and unexpected. Maybe she can play with you one more time after the first time and on the next day, after she calmed down, consider dating.

yyeah you are right, i've been struggling a lot with that part, this just started as a regular tease but when i started making the personality, it came out as a bitch, so i started adding some kind of story
There's the whole thing about the lost memories that i wanted to use to explain some of the stuff, for example Nanaka had a crush on you in the past and this is why she accepts that quickly to become your girlfriend, but i guess that's still too soon. i thought about making regular heartwarming events in between and also as unlocks, without any masturbation involved, but i ended up postponing that problem until i was done with the general tease part (which i am now, other than fixing and improving it). I also thought that it could be weird if people just wanted to fap and instead were forced to listen to story sections...so i don't know, i'm still undecided about what to do.
!!! This is quite important. There was a confusing choice. Nanaka tells you that she would be really happy to ruin your orgasm, but then she says she doesn't want to push you to it. If you ruin your orgasm for here she should be happy right? And so she says: "I will never do it again if you choose to do it for me" or something like this. She says you will never receive a blowjob from her again. I got really confused in that situation. I understood it this way: if you ruin it, she will be happy, and as a result, will be more friendly towards you and will give you more blowjobs. If you don't ruin it, then she will give you a blowjob BUT it will be the last one. It turned out to be the other way around :c I hope you can make this choice more clear to the player, especially the consequences.

Noted, the idea was to make it confusing but in a way that made sense, then i postponed it and forgot about it. i should probably entirely rewrite that part
It's kind of difficult to remember the phrase that you need to tell Nanaka for her to ruin your orgasm

the phrase is ("Please Nanaka ruin my orgasm again") I had around 10 alternative phrases that it recognized so that even if you wrote it wrong she could still respond, i even had a "i forgot" response where she would repeat it for you. I ended up deleting everything because there was a problem with the coding that i couldn't fix, but it should probably work if i make each phrase a separate instruction
Also, just a small bug: sometimes metronome sound runs out before the timer ends

so it slipped, damn..i usually test without sound or just skip the timers so i didn't realize there was still this bug, i'll have to make every single audio loop a few times just to be sure.


This was a great feedback, this is exactly what i hoped for!
i'll fix and improve as much as i can before starting on the other girls! i'm ashamed of such glaring mistakes but i was well aware of their presence and my inability to see them as i've worked on it too much, and this is the exact reason i decided to ask for help :)
I'm still undecided about the other girls, so far the only idea was to have Kirino be kind of the main girl and the hardest to get, while Kanna being the easiest (i was thinking about her being engaged to you or maybe your girlfriend when you were little or something like that). The main thing that gave me the idea about interaction was having Kirino have a very little chance of letting you have an orgasm, something like 1/10 or 1/20, straight up denying you most of the times, but if you cleared Nanaka you could have her talk with Kirino to add a good chance of getting a ruined orgasm instead (if 1/10 to have release, then it would become 4/10 to have a ruined orgasm, 1/10 to have release and 5/10 to be denied), Kanna instead could be able to simply improve your chances or maybe make you roll a second time.
Ideally i'd want to add custom dialogues with each girl based on the routes completed (so that if you finish Kanna's route before Nanaka, Nanaka would comment on that or something on these lines)...
So yeah, it's gonna be a huge amount of work so any feedback or suggestion is more than welcome!
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by imtoosexy »

The picture thing I noticed too, an image of her with her breasts out pops up and then pops back the the image before it. But I didn't mind. Looks very promising! I know 1st hand feedback can be discouraging but I hope you continue working on this tease.
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by dafafa »

I'm trying to fix as much stuff as i can, once i'm done all update it all at once
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by goodman854 »

Mine bugs out and the story fails to progress at I think the third act?

"I can see that you have some "troubles" down there

I'm your girlfriend now so why don't i take care of it?"
And then it just sits. And I'm left going,... uh yeah go ahead, come on today plz get to work wamen.

I dunno if this is a glitch in the tease based on options i picked or the ESA or w/e this new tease system is called maybe an bug in it, or my browser. I'm unsure. But yeah, or is that as far as it goes?

Either way it seems great so far and I'm honestly crazy surprised it's been along time since we've scene something of this quality on this site in a while imo. I won't call you 1885 replacement yet as that would be comparing you to God (1885 your shit is top notch), but eventually maybe (also cause he hasn't made anything in along time or is infrequent with his post).
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by dafafa »

goodman854 wrote: Tue Apr 30, 2019 10:40 pm Mine bugs out and the story fails to progress at I think the third act?

"I can see that you have some "troubles" down there

I'm your girlfriend now so why don't i take care of it?"
And then it just sits. And I'm left going,... uh yeah go ahead, come on today plz get to work wamen.

I dunno if this is a glitch in the tease based on options i picked or the ESA or w/e this new tease system is called maybe an bug in it, or my browser. I'm unsure. But yeah, or is that as far as it goes?

Either way it seems great so far and I'm honestly crazy surprised it's been along time since we've scene something of this quality on this site in a while imo. I won't call you 1885 replacement yet as that would be comparing you to God (1885 your shit is top notch), but eventually maybe (also cause he hasn't made anything in along time or is infrequent with his post).
hm that shouldn't be happening, do you remember what choices you made?
That part is the same for the rest of the tease, it function as a "hub" of sort, something like:
"if you did this and that then go see x"
"if you did this instead and that go see y" etc
you seem to have landed on a combination that i didn't foresee, or shouldn't be possible, or the code bugged somehow...if you tell me exactly how you got there i'll have an easier time understanding what went wrong, either way thank you for your feedback, i'll put it in the pile and hopefully find a solution

EDIT:
I unpublished the tease as i have more than enough feedback to work for a while, i'll publish it again once i'm done and ready for round 2!
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by Sophistros »

Hi,

Great tease, I love having my orgasms ruined by a girl who enjoys ruining them.

Personally, I’d love it if one of them was a pretty strict ball buster, maybe Kirino, putting me in a humbler or weights on my cock, and spanking my cock or balls. Ball spanking ruined ortasms are very intense.

Good job!
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by dafafa »

Sophistros wrote: Wed May 01, 2019 4:25 pm Hi,

Great tease, I love having my orgasms ruined by a girl who enjoys ruining them.

Personally, I’d love it if one of them was a pretty strict ball buster, maybe Kirino, putting me in a humbler or weights on my cock, and spanking my cock or balls. Ball spanking ruined ortasms are very intense.

Good job!
Thanks for the feedback! Kirino is definitely going to be meaner so i can see integrating something like that, however i don't think i'm gonna go as far as requiring overly specific items from the user
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by dafafa »

UPDATE:
reworked the introduction, tried to make it flow better and feel a tad bit less rushed
added more dialogue between the 3 girls for a better introduction
added a picture of the room instead of the black screen
added a reset game button with confirmation
added confirmation to reset Nanaka
fixed the metronome bug (hopefully)
added the option to skip some of the text, this is a very lengthy process as pages are big and i need to scroll up and down wasting time, just to change the behavior of the text. Will keep working on this, as of now i only worked a bit on the first part of the tease to see if it felt better.

fixed the bug with the pictures disappearing immediately after appearing
rewrote some of the dialogue to make more sense
added a whole dating sequence to make it feel more natural
etc etc
I'm too tired to keep working on this and i really hope i didn't make any huge mistakes, i'll test it again by myself tomorrow if there's no new feedback/bug reports when i wake up, hope you guys like the new changes!
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by goodman854 »

dafafa wrote: Wed May 01, 2019 11:01 pm UPDATE:
reworked the introduction, tried to make it flow better and feel a tad bit less rushed
added more dialogue between the 3 girls for a better introduction
added a picture of the room instead of the black screen
added a reset game button with confirmation
added confirmation to reset Nanaka
fixed the metronome bug (hopefully)
added the option to skip some of the text, this is a very lengthy process as pages are big and i need to scroll up and down wasting time, just to change the behavior of the text. Will keep working on this, as of now i only worked a bit on the first part of the tease to see if it felt better.

fixed the bug with the pictures disappearing immediately after appearing
rewrote some of the dialogue to make more sense
added a whole dating sequence to make it feel more natural
etc etc
I'm too tired to keep working on this and i really hope i didn't make any huge mistakes, i'll test it again by myself tomorrow if there's no new feedback/bug reports when i wake up, hope you guys like the new changes!
wow, w/e the bug was before seems to be gone. And I'm really really loving this so far the dialog is very enjoyable. I won't lie I was kinda hoping for a nice fair equal loving relationship with her hahah. Talk about unrealistic on a milovana tease. It's very enjoyable the way it is lol.

Only question I had which maybe you dont want to answer but does anything ever change with the amount of times you ruin it with her. Is there magic number?
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by dafafa »

goodman854 wrote: Thu May 02, 2019 5:20 am
dafafa wrote: Wed May 01, 2019 11:01 pm UPDATE:
reworked the introduction, tried to make it flow better and feel a tad bit less rushed
added more dialogue between the 3 girls for a better introduction
added a picture of the room instead of the black screen
added a reset game button with confirmation
added confirmation to reset Nanaka
fixed the metronome bug (hopefully)
added the option to skip some of the text, this is a very lengthy process as pages are big and i need to scroll up and down wasting time, just to change the behavior of the text. Will keep working on this, as of now i only worked a bit on the first part of the tease to see if it felt better.

fixed the bug with the pictures disappearing immediately after appearing
rewrote some of the dialogue to make more sense
added a whole dating sequence to make it feel more natural
etc etc
I'm too tired to keep working on this and i really hope i didn't make any huge mistakes, i'll test it again by myself tomorrow if there's no new feedback/bug reports when i wake up, hope you guys like the new changes!
wow, w/e the bug was before seems to be gone. And I'm really really loving this so far the dialog is very enjoyable. I won't lie I was kinda hoping for a nice fair equal loving relationship with her hahah. Talk about unrealistic on a milovana tease. It's very enjoyable the way it is lol.

Only question I had which maybe you dont want to answer but does anything ever change with the amount of times you ruin it with her. Is there magic number?
I can say that it changes 2 times, the second one requiring double the amount of the first.
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by thedarknessintheworld »

dafafa wrote: Wed May 01, 2019 6:46 pm
Sophistros wrote: Wed May 01, 2019 4:25 pm Hi,

Great tease, I love having my orgasms ruined by a girl who enjoys ruining them.

Personally, I’d love it if one of them was a pretty strict ball buster, maybe Kirino, putting me in a humbler or weights on my cock, and spanking my cock or balls. Ball spanking ruined ortasms are very intense.

Good job!
Thanks for the feedback! Kirino is definitely going to be meaner so i can see integrating something like that, however i don't think i'm gonna go as far as requiring overly specific items from the user
well, and i though that this couldn't get much more meaner lol, i can't wait to see her route
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Re: [Open testing-incomplete]Your new life - Nanaka route

Post by dafafa »

thedarknessintheworld wrote: Thu May 02, 2019 7:50 pm
dafafa wrote: Wed May 01, 2019 6:46 pm
Sophistros wrote: Wed May 01, 2019 4:25 pm Hi,

Great tease, I love having my orgasms ruined by a girl who enjoys ruining them.

Personally, I’d love it if one of them was a pretty strict ball buster, maybe Kirino, putting me in a humbler or weights on my cock, and spanking my cock or balls. Ball spanking ruined ortasms are very intense.

Good job!
Thanks for the feedback! Kirino is definitely going to be meaner so i can see integrating something like that, however i don't think i'm gonna go as far as requiring overly specific items from the user
well, and i though that this couldn't get much more meaner lol, i can't wait to see her route
But Nanaka is so sweet :'(
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