Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by Shattered »

killer1243 wrote: Wed Oct 25, 2017 12:36 am Two more major bugs:
Spoiler: show
With the second session with Xia. With Greed. There is no Done button (or Missed it). So you can't continue.

Also no matter which Sin you pick (except Sloth and maybe others after that idk) you go to a "Again that was pretty hot..."
there is a continue button, but it doesn't work.
And also a few minor ones:
Spoiler: show
With Hailey, first session, Greed. After you click Forcing, there is no Done button, it is still a Missed it button.

Also with the 221 session, 448 session, and the first two of Xia's sessions (442/443 and 293) (that's where I'm up to maybe later too). Again with Greed, the Destroy and Erase buttons act as Delete and Forcing under the right circumstances. E.g.: after pressing the Delete button. But not after pressing the Forcing button. Also after pressing either of them and they activate the timer. But never after pressing them and they don't activate it. Just play around with it for a minute and you will see.

Also with 442/443 (Xia's first) the Missed it button is mISSED IT (again with Greed).
Hope you see this soon as the first two are quite critical.
Thanks, very odd how the former happened because of how I made the tease... fixed the majors now, thanks. Will look at the rest tomorrow
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by killer1243 »

Well you sort of fixed the first major one. Now the word forcing doesn't work. And also the "Done session" button is there from the start. With the other versions of the Greed session it is "Missed it" and then when you click on "Delete" (no idea why here) or "Forcing" it turns into "Done".

Another three relatively minor ones:
Spoiler: show
With Wrath, with Hailey no matter on which day you are, at one of the pages the picture shown is from day 1.

Also again with Wrath the Missed it button doesn't work. (Both times, with and after Riley.)

With Xia's second session after the tease part. The first time she makes you stroke (4 times per second), there is a continue button for some reason and it sends you way back.
Also three small suggestions:
Spoiler: show
One:
Since Riley is a character in-universe and you've met her, I think it would be nice if Hailey says something acknowledging that.
Maybe something about how Riley helped her with that section, or she just drew inspiration from her methods, something like that.

And two:
In the third session with Hailey (the day before Xue), maybe have her just not let you pick the Lust option. You've already done that for story reasons with Xia's first session, where she doesn't let you pick (or rather continue with) Wrath. So maybe if on that day you pick Lust, she immediately tells you that it is not possible to do right now, maybe without revealing exactly why.

And three (this is the least important one):
With the second part of the Lust tasks 841/842/843 (if you keep that one) Hailey is wearing the same outfit that she wore on the day before, but supposedly 24 hours have passed. So instead maybe you should pick another set that is the same no matter whether is is 841, 842 or 843 (see above), since only one of those is supposed to come up.
Ok, that's it from me for today. Will probably finish it tomorrow or overmorrow.
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by Shattered »

killer1243 wrote: Wed Oct 25, 2017 1:31 am Well you sort of fixed the first major one. Now the word forcing doesn't work. And also the "Done session" button is there from the start. With the other versions of the Greed session it is "Missed it" and then when you click on "Delete" (no idea why here) or "Forcing" it turns into "Done".

Another three relatively minor ones:
Spoiler: show
With Wrath, with Hailey no matter on which day you are, at one of the pages the picture shown is from day 1.

Also again with Wrath the Missed it button doesn't work. (Both times, with and after Riley.)

With Xia's second session after the tease part. The first time she makes you stroke (4 times per second), there is a continue button for some reason and it sends you way back.
Also three small suggestions:
Spoiler: show
One:
Since Riley is a character in-universe and you've met her, I think it would be nice if Hailey says something acknowledging that.
Maybe something about how Riley helped her with that section, or she just drew inspiration from her methods, something like that.

And two:
In the third session with Hailey (the day before Xue), maybe have her just not let you pick the Lust option. You've already done that for story reasons with Xia's first session, where she doesn't let you pick (or rather continue with) Wrath. So maybe if on that day you pick Lust, she immediately tells you that it is not possible to do right now, maybe without revealing exactly why.

And three (this is the least important one):
With the second part of the Lust tasks 841/842/843 (if you keep that one) Hailey is wearing the same outfit that she wore on the day before, but supposedly 24 hours have passed. So instead maybe you should pick another set that is the same no matter whether is is 841, 842 or 843 (see above), since only one of those is supposed to come up.
Ok, that's it from me for today. Will probably finish it tomorrow or overmorrow.
Yeah you posted just before I was going to sleep, so I did a quick functional fix, should be working properly now. Should have fixed all of these, now, and took suggestion 1+2 to make changes. I'm gonna leave the clothing the same for now to avoid having to make a ton of extra pages without having her get changed for 5 pages then going back to the old set :P

Thank you very much for your diligence in finding and reporting these errors by the way :D I very much appreciate it
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by killer1243 »

Spoiler: show
Near the end of Xia's second session, while she is making you hold the edge to make you say you want to be her slave there are continue buttonS, which again return you way back. Also one of the times the no button is called Button2.
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by killer1243 »

Also
Spoiler: show
There is one photo from another set in the conversation with Caprice after Xia's second session.
BTW If you could pass both teases trough some sort of grammar check. Occasionally there appears to be a missing word or the wrong word used. It isn't a huge problem, but I can't really report all of them. I think a grammar check would catch most. (maybe not really sure how reliable those are)
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by killer1243 »

A bit of a major bug:
Spoiler: show
With Xia's third session.
1. with Greed when you click on something wrong, it takes you to her first session.
2. with wrath her text is like in the first session and then it sends you to the first session again.
Maybe there are a few more instances like that with the third sessions, though those are the ones I saw now.
Also a minor one:
Spoiler: show
635 session, Nobody, it looks like the "Hailey scrolls trough you messages. Oh." should be after the paragraph after it.
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by Shattered »

killer1243 wrote: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:31 pm
Spoiler: show
Near the end of Xia's second session, while she is making you hold the edge to make you say you want to be her slave there are continue buttonS, which again return you way back. Also one of the times the no button is called Button2.
fixed
killer1243 wrote: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:48 pm Also
Spoiler: show
There is one photo from another set in the conversation with Caprice after Xia's second session.
BTW If you could pass both teases trough some sort of grammar check. Occasionally there appears to be a missing word or the wrong word used. It isn't a huge problem, but I can't really report all of them. I think a grammar check would catch most. (maybe not really sure how reliable those are)
I ran it through one already, didn't seem to catch everything :P May try another. Fixed this though
killer1243 wrote: Thu Oct 26, 2017 12:41 am A bit of a major bug:
Spoiler: show
With Xia's third session.
1. with Greed when you click on something wrong, it takes you to her first session.
2. with wrath her text is like in the first session and then it sends you to the first session again.
Maybe there are a few more instances like that with the third sessions, though those are the ones I saw now.
Also a minor one:
Spoiler: show
635 session, Nobody, it looks like the "Hailey scrolls trough you messages. Oh." should be after the paragraph after it.
Fixed these, thanks. Having 99% the same pages for different days with these slight changes does let a few things slip through the cracks I see
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by killer1243 »

Shattered wrote: Thu Oct 26, 2017 1:53 pm
killer1243 wrote: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:31 pm
Spoiler: show
Near the end of Xia's second session, while she is making you hold the edge to make you say you want to be her slave there are continue buttonS, which again return you way back. Also one of the times the no button is called Button2.
fixed
killer1243 wrote: Wed Oct 25, 2017 11:48 pm Also
Spoiler: show
There is one photo from another set in the conversation with Caprice after Xia's second session.
BTW If you could pass both teases trough some sort of grammar check. Occasionally there appears to be a missing word or the wrong word used. It isn't a huge problem, but I can't really report all of them. I think a grammar check would catch most. (maybe not really sure how reliable those are)
I ran it through one already, didn't seem to catch everything :P May try another. Fixed this though
killer1243 wrote: Thu Oct 26, 2017 12:41 am A bit of a major bug:
Spoiler: show
With Xia's third session.
1. with Greed when you click on something wrong, it takes you to her first session.
2. with wrath her text is like in the first session and then it sends you to the first session again.
Maybe there are a few more instances like that with the third sessions, though those are the ones I saw now.
Also a minor one:
Spoiler: show
635 session, Nobody, it looks like the "Hailey scrolls trough you messages. Oh." should be after the paragraph after it.
Fixed these, thanks. Having 99% the same pages for different days with these slight changes does let a few things slip through the cracks I see

The 1. problem with Xia is still here.
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by killer1243 »

Spoiler: show
With the 634/635 session if you chose Hailey, with Greed there is no Done button. Also, before that in the conversation with Xue, when you reject her and tell her you don't love Hailey, there are three options (one of them was waifu something)
but all lead to the same page.
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by killer1243 »

Spoiler: show
Also with Pride, there is no Missed it button on the first page. And after taht there is no Done button (even though unless you have women's clothes you wouldn't have anymore words).
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by killer1243 »

Spoiler: show
With Hailey's ending, when she asks you if the tease is ready for publishing and you say Yes after a few continues it sends you back.

Also if you are denied she then talks about eating your cum. So maybe have a version of that page if you were denied (denied yourself). And considering what she explains next, maybe have versions of the pages up to there with modifications.
Maybe having her say "I bet you're really starting to regret denying yourself that orgasm now." or something like that (mine sounds a bit bad I think, not really good at writing dialogue).

P.S. Thanks for the shoutout (not sure if this is the correct word) at the end. BTW that number at the end really surprised me. :D Didn't expect an easter egg to be introduced so late into the tease.

P.P.S. Does that mean that the Xia ending is cannon? :D

These were great btw. I think my favourite part (however short it was) when Xue is making you take turns - who dominates who.
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by Shattered »

killer1243 wrote: Fri Oct 27, 2017 3:49 am
Spoiler: show
With the 634/635 session if you chose Hailey, with Greed there is no Done button. Also, before that in the conversation with Xue, when you reject her and tell her you don't love Hailey, there are three options (one of them was waifu something)
but all lead to the same page.
Fixed
killer1243 wrote: Fri Oct 27, 2017 4:46 am
Spoiler: show
Also with Pride, there is no Missed it button on the first page. And after taht there is no Done button (even though unless you have women's clothes you wouldn't have anymore words).
Fixed
killer1243 wrote: Fri Oct 27, 2017 5:41 am
Spoiler: show
With Hailey's ending, when she asks you if the tease is ready for publishing and you say Yes after a few continues it sends you back.

Also if you are denied she then talks about eating your cum. So maybe have a version of that page if you were denied (denied yourself). And considering what she explains next, maybe have versions of the pages up to there with modifications.
Maybe having her say "I bet you're really starting to regret denying yourself that orgasm now." or something like that (mine sounds a bit bad I think, not really good at writing dialogue).

P.S. Thanks for the shoutout (not sure if this is the correct word) at the end. BTW that number at the end really surprised me. :D Didn't expect an easter egg to be introduced so late into the tease.

P.P.S. Does that mean that the Xia ending is cannon? :D

These were great btw. I think my favourite part (however short it was) when Xue is making you take turns - who dominates who.
Yeah missed those two, added some pages.

And no problem, you've been a massive help :)
Spoiler: show
I'll let you interpret the Xia end how you will :) I was originally going to put it at the end right after you came so more of the plot than an easter egg, but I do wonder how many will come back for it :)

I would have liked to make some of the Xue bits longer, but I had lots of ideas for what to do afterwards and Xue just kinda...happened for the plot. I liked doing that section, but while I initially did hours again it just didn't really work with the flow I wanted.
Thanks again and glad you enjoyed :)
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by mangoman »

I really wish I did this tease first. Experience would be so much better. Nonetheless, another 4-5 hours spend, had a wonderful time. I hope you do a tease like this again some time that I can do properly. :lol:

Thanks for your amazing work, you're kinda one of the last really good teasewriters that are still active and not doing TeaseAI. I really appreciate it!
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by bondfan »

Just when I thought "A tease through dimensions" is the most creative stream on this site, there is now one that is my absolute favorite on the site. Well done and thank you!
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Re: Tease feedback - Chastity 5: A webtease for Hailey

Post by Shattered »

paswis wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:59 am I really wish I did this tease first. Experience would be so much better. Nonetheless, another 4-5 hours spend, had a wonderful time. I hope you do a tease like this again some time that I can do properly. :lol:

Thanks for your amazing work, you're kinda one of the last really good teasewriters that are still active and not doing TeaseAI. I really appreciate it!
Hehe, sorry :P I'm not sure I will be producing something like this again, or indeed anything for quite a while now, I just wanted to push this out while I had the time, hence less testing than I'd like. But glad it still held to a second runthrough :)
bondfan wrote: Wed Nov 01, 2017 8:20 am Just when I thought "A tease through dimensions" is the most creative stream on this site, there is now one that is my absolute favorite on the site. Well done and thank you!
You think this is more creative than dimensions? This was inspired by it and took it to another level, but I kind of felt like Dimensions came together better. Thanks for the kind words regardless :)
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