For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by forbiddendesire »

Yes you can, as long as you use clothespins the first time, you can use pins in future.

Edited:
So I assume you still don't wanna fuck?
(you lower your head..this isn't fair)

Well in that case..
Take all 8 clothespins and put them on your balls.
But don't stop jerking..
In fact, i want you to speed up to 2 strokes per second while you do that..

"Yes Mistress, thank you Mistress"

"Do you like that slaveboy?"

"I dont know mistress, but please may i edge?"

"No, just keep going for a little longer
Stroke with your other hand now please"

"Yes Mistress"
(You start to moan heavily and you feel precum dripping down your shaft)

Alex says:

"Uhh is it that bad edgeboy?"

"Yes mistress, this is too much ..please"

"Soon slaveboy
I want to let the pins set in a little first
Trust me this will be fun"

(You give her a concerned look and try your best to stay away from the edge)
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

Hey i could need some help again=\

Im stuck with with a description on how to use a shoelace to "bind up" your cock and balls
I dont have experience with that so its hard to come up with that...
I need like a standart precedure for this
------------------------------------------------------------------

Take the shoelace and wrap it around your balls/cock whatever comes first
Now...

...do this
...do that

now i want you to knot together the loose ends

(You do as your told)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

something simple which includes cock and balls
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by forbiddendesire »

I suggest you take a look at this:
http://www.karlasin.com/2015/07/cock-an ... a68444bd82
http://www.boundforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=101675

There are a few cock and ball bondage tutorials around the net that would explain far better than I could, but I think the methods shown in the links above should be enough.
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

Thanks again..
Thats what i wanted..although i will simplify it alot..

But some of the pictures..
People should be careful with what they are doing...
Im a nurse in real life..
and i dont know..
even tho the chances are pretty low that you do real damage to yourself..
cutting off the blood flow to whatever body part can end up real bad real quick..

Just another extrem example..
to show what is possible in super rare occasions..

I will never forget this 1 woman we had
she was like 23 or something..
good looking and all that..
This woman was diagnosed with chair incontinence caused by excessive anal penetration..
i know this sounds funny but..
She had to wear fucking diapers for the rest of her life...
of course thats the very rare exception
and i cant remember all the details..
But that was shocking to me back then..
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

Does that makes sense?

variance from this principles
perk up






She says :

"Cmon.."
"Dont be so serious all the time.."
"Dont you have fun?"
"Your behaviour reminds me of that one time..."
"Was it 2 years ago?.."

"When you lost control because you were so
frustrated that you had to run outside all naked
and started yelling?"

"Do you remember that?"

(You lower your head)

"Of course i do tess..."
"But that was after 4 month without an orgasm.."

Tess says.

"Alright.. "
"Its time to find out if i allow you to explode.."
"Stroke to the edge and hold it--"
"I havent made my decision yet.."

(You lower your head)

"Whats the matter?"
"Too sensitive?"

(You lower your head again)

--------------------
16

"Well you know that your only chance to cum is,
when you hold your edge.."

"I wont variance from this principles"
"So what will it be?"
"Cmon.."
"You can do it.."

"Im scared tess.."
"I would really like to cum out here"
"Please"
"I cant take much more.."

"Gogogo.."
"You pleaded enough now..."

(you lower your head)

"Stroke to the edge please.."

(You cant take your eyes of tess..)

"You look so damn sexy over there tess"
"How do i deserve this?"

She teases you and says:

"Maybe you dont?"

(You lower your head again and edge yourself)

"Perk up.."
"We are out here in a barn.."
"You can stroke your hard cock for me.."
"Isnt that enough?"

(You try to plead with her)

"Keep holding the edge.."
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by forbiddendesire »

My edited version:

She says :

"C'mon.."
"Don't be so serious all the time.."
"Aren't you having fun?"
"Your behaviour reminds me of that one time..."
"Was it 2 years ago?.."

"When you lost control because you were so
frustrated that you had to run outside all naked
and started yelling?"

"Do you remember that?"

(You lower your head)

"Of course i do Tess..."
"But that was after 4 months without an orgasm.."

Tess says.

"Alright.. "
"Its time to find out if I'll allow you to explode.."
"Stroke to the edge and hold it--"
"I haven't made my decision yet.."

(You lower your head)

"Whats the matter?"
"Too sensitive?"

(You lower your head again)

--------------------
16

"Well you know that your only chance to cum is,
when you hold your edge.."

"I stand firm on that" <----(alternatively, you can say "I won't compromise on that rule" or "I won't waver on that rule")
"So what will it be?"
"C'mon.."
"You can do it.."

"Im scared tess.."
"I would really like to cum out here"
"Please"
"I cant take much more.."

"Gogogo.."
"You pleaded enough now..."

(you lower your head)

"Stroke to the edge please.."

(You cant take your eyes off tess..)

"You look so damn sexy over there tess"
"Why do i deserve this?"

She teases you and says:

"Maybe you dont?"

(You lower your head again and edge yourself)

"Cheer up.."
"We are out here in a barn.."
"You can stroke your hard cock for me.."
"Isnt that enough?"

(You try to plead with her)

"Keep holding the edge.."
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

hi again..
i have a weird question..

Its about the room in this picture
http://pinkfineart.com/girlfolio/tess-i ... er/103318/

How should i refer to this room?
Its in the house "you " are living in..

Its no livingroom
no spare room (the are full with women lol)
no kitchen..no whatever room

I need a idea how to refer to his room..
Or what it could be..
=\
sometimes i have a thinking blockade wit stuff like this..
and having like 4 spare rooms doesnt make much sense..
well maybe it does but..

and if it is another spare room..
how do you refer to it in english?
the 3rd spare room? that sounds strange..



This is the raw version for that picture

---------------------------------------------------------------
Good morning
Have you slept well?

I was about to ask the same..
What are you doing up there?
Dont you wanna come down?
Its not save..

What have i said yesterday about being overprotective?

Im sorry tess

Do you see this?
(she points with her boots at the window frame)
This has to be sealed of properly..
Otherwise we will get some serious issues with the moisture..
This can end up getting very expensive for us..
Can you take care of that today?

I will tess

Good..
I have to go to work soon..
Would you like to bring me a cup of coffee please?

of course tess

Thank you

(You head torwards the kitchen)
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by forbiddendesire »

It looks more like a barn or shed. Makes sense since it's outside the actual house, is usually just one room, and seems like where a cruel Mistress would keep a slave :P

Edited:
Good morning
Did you sleep well?

I was about to ask the same..
What are you doing up there?
Don't you wanna come down?
Its not safe..

What did I say yesterday about being overprotective?

Im sorry Tess

Do you see this?
(she points with her boots to the window frame)
This has to be sealed off properly..
Otherwise we will have some serious issues with the moisture..
This can end up getting very expensive for us..
Can you take care of that today?

I will Tess

Good..
I have to go to work soon..
Would you like to bring me a cup of coffee please?

Of course Tess

Thank you

(You head towards the kitchen)
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

there are no cruel Mistresses in my teases=)
but i like the way you are thinking..
maybe i can put in a dark twist:p

i dont know..
a barn is too big.. considering you live in the city...
maybe a shack/ cabin..
doesnt make much sense either..
i mean its totally unimportant stuff...
but i like it when things make atleast some sense..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We also have to decide what we want do with our spare room.."
"Its been in this catastrophic state for almost a month now.."
"You are the one with some freetime.."
"Maybe you could make things happen?"
"We should decide tomorrow morning what to do with it once and for all"

(You cant follow a single word about what tess is
saying and begin to drool over the sight of her ass)

Tess says:

"You better be joking right now.."

"Ahm no sorry tess.."
"What?"
"Room?"
"Checking?"
"Doing?"
"Sure tess"

"How can a single human being be so horny all the time.."
"Tell me?"
"But i get it.."
"I guess its time to sleep now?"
"Maybe you come to your senses.."
"What do you think?"

"Sorry tess"
(You lower you head)
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by forbiddendesire »

Haha I think the Mistresses in your teases are cruel enough, not letting you cum for so long. I like that they're sweet despite occasionally being cruel. I suppose being in the attic or basement would suit that need best? Since they're usually not where people live but it's not uncommon to use it as an extra room.


Edited:
"We also have to decide what we want do with our spare room.."
"Its been in this catastrophic state for almost a month now.."
"You are the one with some free time.."
"Maybe you could do something?"
"We should decide tomorrow morning what to do with it once and for all"

(You can't follow a single word Tess is saying
and begin to drool over the sight of her ass)

Tess says:

"You have got to be kidding me right now.."

"Ahm no, sorry Tess.."
"What?"
"Room?"
"Checking?"
"Doing?"
"Sure Tess"

"How can a single human being be so horny all the time.."
"Tell me?"
"But I get it.."
"I guess its time to sleep now?"
"Maybe you'll come to your senses.."
"What do you think?"

"Sorry Tess"
(You lower you head)
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

does this makes any sense?

You put on your clothes but leave out the shorts ???


-------------------------------------------------------------
And believe it or not..
You are the first guy i ever played with..
Well..
You played with yourself but..
You know what i mean...

Yes kamilla

Im gonna check on alex now..
You can get dressed again..
But maybe you should change your shorts...

(You lower your head)

So what are you up to today?

Well i have some repairs to do..
And i also want to surprise tess with a dinner later..

You do that to impress her and get a chance to cum or..?

Partially maybe..
The repairs have to be done either way

I wish you good luck mr strange

Thank you kamilla

(You put on your clothes but leave out the shorts)

---------------------------------------------------------------------





and also..
--------------------------------------------------------------------
"And stop stroking!"

(You do as your told and breath a sigh of relief)

"Fuck kamilla..i mean mistress"
"What the..."

"What?"
"You said you can do all this stuff.."
"I dont see the problem here but.."
"Did you cum?"

"No mistress"

"Really?"

"Yes mistress"

"Hmm.."
"Show me your penis please.."

(You pull down your shorts)

"Well.."
"I dont see any sperm.."
"I could have sworn that you spurted.."

(You lower your head)

"Pull your shorts back up please.."
"This is gross.."

(You do as your told)

"Yes mistress, thank you mistress"

"Want to jerk some more?"
"Or do you have enough?"

"I do whatever you want mistress"

"Get over here and start jerking again.."
"1 stroke per second"

"Yes mistress"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

seems all good but sometimes i get tunnelvision on simpel stuff..
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

Maybe some can overlook this?
Im uncertain about little things like


"Has he really asked for what i think he did tess?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
You point with your finger to the backyard
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I i i im sorry for this disturbance mistress" -for or about?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




"So? go ahead..ask her"
"Where is she?"

(You point with your finger to the backyard)

"Oh i see..who is that?"

"That is mia mistress.."
"They train together every 1-2 weeks.."

"Interessting.."
"Well.."
"Go and ask for your permission slaveboy.."

"Im naked mistress.."

(You try to plead with her)

(She gives you a severe look)

"Please dont mistress.."
"This is too embarrassing mistress"

"You have 3 minutes to get back here.."
"Of you go now.."

(You lower your head and head to the backyard)

"On your knees slave.."
"Mind your manners.."

(You get on your knees and start crawling)
--------------------------------------------
32

(Tess and mia are in the middle of their exercise as tess notices you)

"Dont look mia.."
"I cant believe it.."

"Is that him tess?"

"Yes unfortunately it is.."
"Try to ignore him.."
"This will be so embarrassing.."

"Why is he naked..?"
"And he also has a boner.."
"What the fuck.."

"As i said..ignore him.."

"What does he want?"

"Guess we will find out shortly.."
"But i have a premonition about what he wants.."
"Just wait for it.."
"Im gonna make him suffer.."
"This will be funny.."
"Just dont look at him.."

"If you say so tess.."
"This is awkward as hell.."

"Just wait and see mia.."

(A short while later you appraoch tess..)
-------------------------------------------------
33

(You cant look directly at them and lower your head)

"Good morning mistress"

(They keep ignoring you)

"Please mistress"

Tess says:

"You have quite some nerves slave.."
"What are you doing out here naked and hard..?"
"You better have a very good explanation for this slave"

You start to studder:

"I i i im sorry for this disturbance mistress"

"You better be.."
"In front of my friend.."
"Whats wrong with you?"

"I i i wanted to ask..you know.."

"What do i know?"
"I know nothing.."
"Explain yourself!"

"I met alex outside and.."

"And?"
------------------------------------
34

(Tess and mia keep ignoring you as if you werent there)

"And maybe i thought.."

"Stop babbling and get to the point slave"

"Maybe we could talk in private for a second mistress?"

"No slave.."
"Say what you have to say or leave us alone.."

(You start to blush)

"Please dont make me do this mistress"

"Alright then.."
"You can go now.."

"No please mistress.."
"i wanted to ask if i could maybe play with myself in front of alex.."

(You lower your head ashamed)

Mia says:

"Has he really asked for what i think he did tess?"

"Seems so mia.."
"What do you think?"
"Should i let him do that?
--------------------------------------------------------------
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by forbiddendesire »

Hi addNtoX! I thought you ended your Total Obedience series? Anyway, nice to see you at work on a tease again! Here is my edit:

"So? Go ahead..ask her"
"Where is she?"

(You point with your finger to the backyard)

"Oh i see..who is that?"

"That is Mia Mistress.."
"They train together every 1-2 weeks.."

"Interesting.."
"Well.."
"Go and ask for your permission slaveboy.."

"I'm naked mistress.."

(You try to plead with her)

(She gives you a severe look)

"Please don't mistress.."
"This is too embarrassing mistress"

"You have 3 minutes to get back here.."
"Off you go now.."

(You lower your head and head to the backyard)

"On your knees slave.."
"Mind your manners.."

(You get on your knees and start crawling)
--------------------------------------------
32

(Tess and Mia are in the middle of their exercise when Tess notices you)

"Don't look Mia.."
"I cant believe it.."

"Is that him Tess?"

"Yes, unfortunately it is.."
"Try to ignore him.."
"This will be so embarrassing.."

"Why is he naked..?"
"And he also has a boner.."
"What the fuck.."

"As i said..ignore him.."

"What does he want?"

"Guess we will find out shortly.."
"But I have a feeling I know what he wants.."
"Just wait for it.."
"I'm gonna make him suffer.."
"This will be funny.."
"Just don't look at him.."

"If you say so Tess.."
"This is awkward as hell.."

"Just wait and see Mia.."

(A short while later you approach Tess..)
-------------------------------------------------
33

(You can't look directly at them and lower your head)

"Good morning Mistress"

(They keep ignoring you)

"Please Mistress"

Tess says:

"You have some nerve slave.."
"What are you doing out here naked and hard..?"
"You better have a very good explanation for this slave"

You start to stutter:

"I...I...I..I'm sorry for this disturbance mistress"

"You better be.."
"In front of my friend.."
"Whats wrong with you?"

"I..I..I wanted to ask..you know.."

"What do I know?"
"I know nothing.."
"Explain yourself!"

"I met Alex outside and.."

"And?"
------------------------------------
34

(Tess and Mia keep ignoring you as if you aren't there)

"And maybe i thought.."

"Stop babbling and get to the point slave"

"Maybe we could talk in private for a second Mistress?"

"No slave.."
"Either say what you have to say or leave us alone.."

(You start to blush)

"Please don't make me do this Mistress"

"Alright then.."
"You can go now.."

"No please Mistress.."
"i wanted to ask if i could maybe play with myself in front of Alex.."

(You lower your head in shame)

Mia says:

"Did he really ask for what i think he asked for Tess?"

"Seems so Mia.."
"What do you think?"
"Should i let him do that?
--------------------------------------------------------------
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

^thanks=) ive spend "much" time recently to edit the older parts..

This part im "writing" right now will be the last one..
i should have named the last part simply part 7..
But it was meant to be a two part final..simply because it was too long as a whole..
But same goes for what im writing at the moment..
I already wrote the ending which is always the hardest part..
now i have to write the rest..

I have this part here and wanted to have an opinion if its understandable/readable/makes sense because its once more about something i have no real clue about..

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Take both ropes now slaveboy.."
"Sit down on your ass.."
"Tie the first rope around your ankles.."

(You do as youre told)

"Very good.."
"Is it tight?"
"Just make is so that you can barely move your feet.."

"Yes mistress"

"Now..take the other .."
"Wait.."
"Take the clothepins first and place them within your reach.."

"Done mistress"

"Good.."
"Get up into your kneeling position slaveboy.."
"Take the other robe and tie it around your knees.."

"Done mistress"

"Perfect.."
"Now you have nowhere to go slaveboy.."
"How does it feel?"

"Restrictive? mistress"

"So you did it right.."
"Im impressed pervboy.."
"Even without much complaining.."

"Thank you mistress"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

and another..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"What?"
"I already told you that i really enjoyed our dinner.."
"How often do you want to hear it?"
"Im sure you gave it your best.."

(You lower your head)

"Is it because you had to kneel at the table instead of sitting next to me?"

(You remain silent)

"Well..if you dont want to talk.."
"Maybe you could make yourself useful?"
"I think you still have to clear the table?"
"I had a long day.."
"And by the looks of it.."
"All you did today was stroking yourself.."
"Isnt that so?"

"I took care of the windows tess!"
"And i did alot of other stuff too!"

"Other stuff.."
"My poor hard working man.."
"And because of that you want to be rewardet?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------
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Re: For Webtease Authors- Offer to Proofread Webteases

Post by addNtoX »

Does this sentence make sense as it it?

"But i also know that knowing how much i love to dominate, control, and use you gets you off..doesn't it?"

know that knowing?
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