A question about sexuality, attraction and the mind

[samuel999]

So, currently I'm on a no fap rule. I can't cum and if I edge then I will want to cum and it will ruin it. So, unfortunately it's pretty damn hard! But I'm in the second week, but it has been real hard to get an erection these past few days (no pun intended) and if I could get one then it would die real fast again. I think it's porn induced ED because look at my age. However, this morning I woke up and saw a photo, and It made me think about sucking dick and I went rock hard. Why??

I am not gay. I do not find males attractive, I find females very attractive, tits and ass turn me on like no tomrrow but I must admit, pussy doesent really do much unless I'm super horny (+ I'm a virgin). I've got a cum fetish which sorta developed alongside a sucking dick fetish but I am not gay. I'd love to suck a dick, but fucked in the ass- no thanks. I watched a lot of sissy hypno videos and shemle stuff, and a lot of "Cum for me" "eat it for me" photos on Tumblr, and I cummed while watching / looking at them.

I remember reading a study about developing a fetish to anything (the example was a tomato, worked a little bit) with psychological association - so you associate the tomato with cum, orgasm and arousal by jacking off to the picture about 6 times. Each time the association build, as your brain builds a stronger connection.

So, is it possible to build a fetish to pussy and erase the sucking dick one seeing as I'm attracted to women? Is it normal to not really like looking at pussy but get turned on by tits and ass, etc? And if so is it because I am a virgin?

And my final question, does it make me gay? What does it make me?

[mike225]

I think a big part of this MIGHT have to do with how affected you were by the hypno videos. But I do not find the idea of sucking dick or eating cum appealing. I used to eat my ex out, I enjoyed making her happy. However, I am a tits, ass and long legs guy myself. I was never especially attracted to the pussy of a woman. I still am not, but I saw a virgin pussy the other day and I was like "damn that's a cute pussy." I don't think not being attracted to the female genitalia is weird in the least. As for the rest of your questioning. Being a virgin might be a factor, looking at a woman's pussy and actually being with the woman is a very different experience.
I wish I could answer all of your questions, but I don't experience with the rest of your fetishes. I hope this helped.
mike225
(formerly Quaz225)
[formerly Quaz283]

[SexualChoc]

Most people are on a scale form homosexual to heterosexual.. so 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9... you would probably be somewhere not totally hetero so you are a (pick a number) also some people are pan, others asexual, sissy.. there a lot of room now (thank God)
there are several studies that show that excessive porn watching does cause ED.. which is common in younger men and is causing all kinds of problems ...
http://www.everydayhealth.com/news/erec ... t-may-why/
all that means is if you are with someone.. just take things a bit slow.. and enjoy a lot of touching.

as for what to do... well different things work for different people
could try counseling..or dating.. or using internet to find people.. and discover..
spiritual guidance.. or even quitting porn all together for a while to see how that works..
and perhaps denial is not your thing.. maybe you need more orgasms..
there a lot of options..
hope you find what works best for you

However do Not get discouraged!
you are a unique special person.. jsut because you don't know.. yet
only means you can try out a lot of things and have fun on the way.
oh and having any kind of sexual encounter.. including the one you have done.. means you are not totally a virgin.. jsut have not done full penetration.. yet.

ps I do and have done some counseling.. I just don't have enough information to give more specific suggestions.. (or jsut skip all this)
if you want feel free to milo mail me or.. just answer these questions here (in forum)
1.please post some pics of what turns you on.. and WHY..(if you can say why)
2.share a bit more about.. "If I was in a room with someone I was going to have sex with I would like to.." (see /feel/ do??)
3.for relaxation my favorite thing to do is... (biking/reading/gaming/sports..)
4. when presented with a problem I like to.... (think about it/read instruction/find a mentor/just try something..)
5. my dream job that I could see myself actually doing would be...

[mike225]

Reading SC's reply reminded me of something that might help you a little bit. Research The Kinsey Report or get the movie from your local library, it goes more in depth about the hetero-sexual and homo-sexual scale.
I hope this all helps,
best of luck,
Mike 225

[The_Easter_Egg]

The way I see these things is just a failure of language.


I think that what SexualChoc mentioned about it being like a scale, from 0 - 10, is incredibly helpful. It's a great way for people to understand that not feeling as firmly in one place in terms of sexuality is totally normal. But I still think this isn't really correct, I think in reality our brains and our sexuality is way more sophisticated and mysterious than that (which he mentions himself).

I think these things can change and grow and recede over time. I also think people have latent interests they haven't discovered yet, and may not ever. It's stating the obvious, but all you can really accurately say is you're somebody who is attracted to women, not so much to pussy, and once or occasionally have been aroused by dicks. Is there a word for that? Not really. Does that matter? Not if you don't think so: it only gets difficult when you try to categorize it, but in my eyes that's totally unnecessary.

Enjoy what you enjoy, don't hurt anyone :)

(Arguably closest category would probably be Bi-Curious but this kind of misses my point)